Learning to Live again - deathbyfluff (2024)

Chapter 1: He only had a cup

Chapter Text

It was a warm September night.

The bright lights flashed overhead, and the crowd around him roared. Dizziness had overtaken Dream’s vision as he stumbled out of the room. He entered a different room and the crowd and blaring music muffled a bit, although the loud thumping of his head created a beat of its own that left little space for relief.

Dream didn’t remember drinking that much. He was responsible enough for a teenager, and only had a cup to take the edge of stress off. He sat down on the floor dropping his head into his hands, as he tried to sort through his thoughts.

He remembers driving to the party after the football match, it was the first football match of the season. He remembers arriving with Techno and Wilbur. He remembers grabbing a cup from a table and splitting a bottle with Spanap, although Sapnap had most of it.

He had only had one cup.

He remembers weaving through the busy crowd. He remembers Bad chasing Sapnap trying to take away whatever bottle he was holding. He remembers seeing Techno and Wilbur standing off to the side, he remembers trying to get to them. He remembers the crowd sweeping him away, swarming the captain who had won them the game.

His cup had never left his possession.

A wave of nausea rolled through his stomach and he lurched up leaving in search of a bathroom. He shuffled down the hall, holding onto the wall as he rocked gently from side to side. He hesitated for a second when he found a door that was clearly marked as the bathroom, before throwing open the door and hauling himself inside.

He locked the door behind him, and turned the lights off in an attempt to lessen his headache. Sliding down the wall, he leaned his head back. The cool temperature of the bathroom was a nice change. His head felt heavy and he could feel his limbs slowly falling asleep. He tried to pull himself up, only for his legs to give out and he collapsed onto the floor again.

The door behind him opened and he panicked. Had he not locked the door? He tensed up when he felt the strangers eyes scanning him. Time seemed to stand still for a second before he heard the door close, he sighed in relief and slumped forward.

That relief was ended by the realisation that someone was still in the bathroom with him. Dream tried desperately to move, to force his body to do something, to do anything.

It struck Dream like a bolt of lightning. His cup must have been drugged, it was the only explanation for this. He knew there were negative effects to alcohol but this wasn’t like being drunk. But when had it happened? And how had he have been so stupid as to let it happen?

Dream could hear the scrape of furniture being dragged against the tile flooring and forced his eyes open. His hazey eyes could barely make out the man in front of him. The man was tall and well built but Dream would undoubtedly win in a fight. However the man seemed to be pretty sober and Dream could barely move.

Dreams stomach felt like a bottomless pit, the sense of dread that washed over him made him feel sick. He was completely at this man's mercy. The man crouched down in front of him, and for a second a Dream thought he might be trying to help him.

That spark of hope was quenched instantaneously.

He fought frantically against the man. Hands seemed to touch him everywhere, he could hear someone whimpering a quiet No. Stop. Please stop. With shock horror he realised that it was himself. Why wasn’t the man listening? His mouth was forced open. Black spots entered his vision at the lack of oxygen.

A hand roamed down his body, groping and feeling as it went.

No no no no no.

He didn’t want this. He fought harder.

Unwanted hands removed his clothing and he was crushed by the man who was straddling his waist. His face was pressed down against the tiles, so hard that he could feel his face start to bruise. His ribs were being crushed into the ground and lips were tracing down his neck.

He longed for unconsciousness but if there was a higher power it gave no mercy. He stayed conscious, forced to feel every unwanted touch.

He screamed at the sudden pain in his lower back, fighting and begging for the man to stop. He was disgusted when he heard the man moan. He stopped fighting immediately. He lay there in agony, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

The man soon left and he laid there numbly. His mind wandered. He wanted to die. It wasn’t a new feeling for Dream, he had struggled with his mental health previously. But this was a different type of longing.

He wanted to be as far as physically possible from people. From a particular person.

He wanted to scrub his skin until he bled, until every ghost hand that touched him was drowned by the water, until he felt clean again.

Just as desperately he wanted to go home and curl up between his Moms and cry. He knew that wasn’t possible, they didn’t deserve to have to deal with him.

His mind wandered to the people in his life and what they would think.

He remembers his brothers.

He remembers them chanting his name during his match. He remembers them being the first to cheer after he scored. He remembered them shouting, gloating to all who could hear that that was their brother. He remembers them looking at him like he was their biggest inspiration.

He remembers holding them when they cried. When Tubbo was five and scraped his knee. When Ranboo woke up from nightmares when he was seven.
When one of Tubbo’s friends moved away when he was twelve. When Ranboo experienced his first heartbreak at fifteen.

He remembers whispering to them that they were okay. That he would never let anything happen to them. He was their big brother after all. He knows now that he doesn’t deserve that title anymore. He couldn't even keep himself safe. How could he ever protect them? He would never forgive himself if something happened to either of them.

He remembers dropping Tubbo and Ranboo home to Niki and Puffy after the match, the two boys wanting to ride in the car with him. He remembers his parents inviting Tommy to stay over to give Phil a solid night of rest. He remembers driving Tommy to his place to pack a bag and offering Techno and Wilbur a spin to the party.

He remembers his friends.

He remembers meeting them years ago. He remembers sitting in the library with Techno and strumming the guitar with Wilbur. He remembers trying to set Bad and Skeppy up. He remembers playing video games with Spanap, coding with George.

He remembers earlier this evening. He remembers the small talk he and Techno had exchanged in the car. He remembered Wilbur's voice humming from the back seat. He remembers leaning against a wall with George and Sapnap, laughing at some stupid joke Sapnap made.

Laughing. He remembers laughing.

He remembers feeling happy. He remembers being naive to the world. Pumped so full of adrenalin from winning the match that he felt like he was on top of the world. He remembers being able to feel.

If only he had known that one cup would make all of that crash to a halt.

He remembers his parents.

He remembers seeing them standing in the stand. He remembers them rushing onto the pitch when the match ended and sweeping him into a hug. He remembers them telling him they were proud of him. He remembers feeling safe in their arms.

He remembers waving goodbye to Puffy after he dropped Tommy off. He remembers kissing Niki’s cheek as he passed out the door. He remembers the two of them grinning at him, telling him to have fun. He remembers his promise to them. He remembers promising to stay safe. He had broken his promise.

He remembers when he was younger and they told him to promise to call him if he needed them. He needs them. He needs them. So why couldn’t he call them. He could see his phone out of the corner of his eye, thrown haphazardly across the floor. It beckoned him.

He had broken his promise.

Could they forgive him?

Would they forgive him?

Would they want to forgive him?

Would they want to even see him after this? To touch him? To love him? To make him feel like enough?

He remembers that they had also broken a promise. He remembers when he was little, when they had first adopted him. He remembers them tucking him into bed, promising him to always be there. Promising to never leave him alone, promising to always keep him safe.

They had lied.

He knew that it wasn’t their fault.

He went to the party.

He took the cup.

He knew that always keeping him safe wasn’t a possibility. He knew he wasn’t worth keeping safe. He knew he wasn’t worth it.

The dull thump of the music returned his mind to present time. He could hear the party slowly quieting down. He wondered if his friends would come looking for him. He realised that they wouldn’t. He had a track record for ditching parties early, his friends always found it fascinating how the blond would rather go to bed than to go to a party.

He lay there on the floor. Unable to force himself to move. Unable to force himself to care.

It was a cold September night.

Chapter 2: Life Continues

Chapter Text

Dream woke up early on Monday morning to sneak into the bathroom. He had spent the weekend wrapped in a cocoon of blankets, under the pretence that he was sick. Niki and Puffy had been worried about him but after assuring them he was fine they left him alone.

He stared at himself in the mirror, his face was a sickening yellow. The ribs, back and thighs are a purple colour. He tore a shirt open his head to hide the bruises, looking at them alone made him feel sick. He grabbed Puffy’s foundation, and carefully put some on his face and neck. It turned out surprisingly well hiding the bruises and the bags under his eyes.

It wasn’t the first time he used foundation. He would often use it to cover bruises he got when skateboarding. He was glad for that practice now.

He headed back to his room to get ready for school. He was dreading it. He hadn’t eaten or slept all weekend and he felt awful. He headed downstairs and grabbed his bag to start walking to school. He didn’t feel like getting on a crowded bus today.

He wrote a note to Niki who he knew would be back from her morning shift at the bakery in a few minutes. He told her he was walking to school and to not worry, also mentioning that he had football practice after school and would be late getting home. He contemplated eating an apple but didn’t think his stomach and mind could handle it.

He walked to school by himself, listening to his headphones.

When he got to the school, he locked himself inside a bathroom stall. Deciding that the least amount of time he could spend around people the better. The football season had started late this year, so this was the last week before Halloween break. He was currently trying to think of an excuse to not go to the Halloween party on Thursday. Because it was Halloween on Saturday the school decided to give us the Friday off as well.

Karl had decided to host a party with just their friend group. He didn’t want to go. He decided that he would much rather spend his Thursday night at home. And every night after that.

Dream cringed at the shrill sounding warning bell overhead and picked himself up off the ground to head to class. He arrived at the classroom and went straight to his seat, ignoring his friends in the class.

Dream didn’t pay attention in class, he couldn’t. Sitting still, out in the open was making him very uncomfortable and he already wanted to leave school. A hand touched his shoulder and he flinched violently.

“Woah, dude,” Sapnap said. “What’s got you so jumpy?”

Dream internally panicked but decided to try and shrug it off, “You just scared me.”

Sapnap snorted, “Come on, we still have classes to go to.”

Dream continued his day feeling like a ghost. Physically, he was there in the class but mentally he was a hundred miles away. When break arrived he sat at the lunch table and did homework with Techno. But unlike normal he stayed out of the conversation going on around him.

It was now that he realised just how affected he had been by this. He hadn’t eaten or slept in almost three days. He was struggling in social situations and would flinch at raised voices or sudden movement. This affected his whole life.

The only thing it didn't affect was football. Football was his safe space, it gave him a chance to switch off his thoughts and focus on what was happening at that moment. He left the dressing room while the others were changing and started the walk home.

He lay in bed thinking he was struggling to understand how this was fair. He would spend hours awake at night pulling his hair and screaming into his pillow. How could everything be so normal and so okay? How could life be moving on while his world crashed and burned around him. He couldn’t eat. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t function. Why would anyone want to deal with him?

His self destructive thoughts plagued him for the night and before he knew it he could see the sun rising through his curtains.

He tried to keep the day as similar to Monday as possible. He left his house before anyone was awake, he hid in the bathroom until class started and he sat in silence at the end of the table with Techno during break.

He should have known his life wasn’t that easy.

He was in Biology that evening, his eyes kept drifting to the clock on the wall and he was fiddling with the back of a pen. The teacher moved onto a new section. And just as his luck would have it, it was the chapter on sex.

He was tense the whole way through class, his knuckles were turning white from holding his pen so tightly, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He knew he was in a room with a group of teenagers who found the teacher's discomfort funny, but every laugh and every snicker felt directed at him. His shoulders felt heavy and he was unable to process what the teacher was saying. His mind kept floating back, he could feel imaginary hands touching him.

The bell rang and he left the classroom faster than he had ever before.

When he arrived home he saw Ranboo and Tubbo sitting at the table doing homework. He ignored them and headed straight upstairs.

That evening when he got home he cried. His body ached and the pain in his ribs was restricting his breathing. His exhaustion got the better of him and after four nights of restlessness he cried himself to sleep before Puffy even got home from her shift at the hospital.

Waking up was harder than expected. His body ached even more from the way he had slept curled up in a ball and he had a migraine. He considered asking if he could stay home, but he knew that would cause his Moms to ask questions so he pushed through all the emotions he was feeling and forced himself up and out of bed.

When he stood up he was dizzy and his head thumped painfully.

School was the same as it had been the past two days, his friends had given up asking if he was okay and he was glad. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would last before he broke at that question. The teachers stopped trying to get him to engage in their classes and the coach had stopped questioning him about his lack of energy.

He walked home again, he had come to love the long stretches of quiet he got by walking. When he got home he went into the Kitchen and said a quick hello to Niki who was cooking something on the hob.

“Please can we go to the party Niki. We’re going to know everyone there and Dream will keep an eye on us,” he heard Tubbo beg. ‘Please say no’ Dream begged silently.

“No, that’s not fair on your brother, he shouldn’t have to take care of you two,” she reasoned. Dream felt his shoulders drop in relief and he quietly.

“You can come then,” Ranboo suggested. “Philza will be there to keep an eye on Tommy. I’m sure Karl won’t mind.” Dream could see Niki contemplating it.

She sighed quietly, “I’ll take you, but only if Karl agrees I can stay and keep an eye on you”

The two cheered, skipping from the room in victory.

Dream however felt sick but stayed and asked his Mom about her day. He retired to his room a little while later eager to bury himself in blankets, under the pretence of homework and assignments.

It was the day of Karl’s party and as he walked to school he realised he still hadn’t told Karl that he wasn’t coming to his party. He didn’t want to just not show up, but with every step closer to the school it felt like an easier option.

He thankfully didn't have Biology today. P.E class usually took place on a Friday so he didn’t have to worry about that and the coach had cancelled practice after hearing about the number of parties that would be occurring.

Overall though, school wasn’t too bad.

He had made it halfway through break before anything happened. He could hear the others discussing the party but he wasn’t paying much attention as he obviously wasn’t planning on going.

“Dream, would you be able to bring a party game?” he heard Quakity ask.

Dream swallowed roughly. He was hoping to avoid being dragged into this conversation but it was now or never he guessed, “I’m not going.”

He winced the second the words left his mouth. He could have said that nicer. He should have said that nicer. They were putting up with him after all. He could feel the shock radiating around the table at his words, the other conversations grinding to a halt.

“What?” Karl questioned.

Dream could hear the disappointment in his voice and decided to just lie, “Mom said I couldn’t.”

He could see a couple people loosen up slightly at the excuse and Dream gave himself a mental pat on the back. His relaxations was short lasting.

“No, she didn’t,” Tubbo burst out. Dream cringed at his bluntness. He loved Tubbo but at times like this he cursed his inability to read the room. “She said Ranboo and I could go, of course she’ll let you.”

Dream could feel Sapnap’s gaze on him, “Oh so you're lying to us now huh. Got some other party to go to or something. Some other friends to hang out with,” he snapped.

Dream remained silent.

George snorted, “Why aren't you going Dream. And no excuses this time, I don’t want to listen to your crap.”

“I don’t want to go.”

You could hear a pin drop.

“What?”

“I said, I don’t want to go,” he repeated, his voice stronger this time.

Quality’s eyes blazed, “that’s bullsh*t Dream and you know it. What are you too cool to just hang out with your friends? Or maybe you're just going to a different party? Ya that’s it you're going to go to a different party. Probably searching for a good f*ck like you had last Friday.”

Dream could feel his stomach dropping and nearly got sick at the last line.

“What did you think we wouldn’t know,” Quality taunted. “I was supposed to drive you home but we couldn’t find you and according to Ranboo you weren’t home til late so that’s the only excuse for where you were.”

“For f*cks sake Dream. You couldn’t just come to Karl’s party could you. God your such a dick,” Sam grunted.

“I thought you were better than that,” Punz added.

Dream wanted to die. Oh god. Oh god. They thought he wanted it? They thought he deserved it? He knew he did but hearing them say it hurt.

He stood up towering over all of them. “I don’t want to go to any party,” he growled. “Not Karls and not anyone else's.”

He was shaking violently as he blindly packed his bag. He couldn’t hold back the tears so he turned his back to the group. He could feel Techno’s eyes on his hands. Watching them nervously shake as he shoved his books into his bag. As he left the table he could feel Techno reach out for him and jerked forcefully away.

Chapter 3: Fights and Football

Chapter Text

Dream sat in his bed Friday morning. He was clutching his phone in his hand, his knuckles turning white. His phone screen was covered by pictures posted by his friends. Pictures of Karls party. He could see the cheap, red cups in the background and deflating balloon littered the room. Dream closed his eyes, it wasn’t fair. Even seeing these pictures was causing his stomach to churn nervously.

He had yet to speak to his parents about what had happened. He knew he would probably get his phone taken away, Puffy and Niki were fair parents but they had no tolerance for being rude. That’s why Dream was so hesitant to go down stairs.

He had grown attached to his phone. To the point where he would sleep with it under his pillow, something he never used to do. Subconsciously he knew it was for safety and he wasn’t sure how he would cope without it. He had kept his phone with him at all times since the incident, he needed contact with people. He needed to be able to contact his parents quickly.

His need for an aspirin was soon outweighing any other thought.

He was shaking as he walked downstairs. He entered the kitchen, his head pounding so he quickly made his way over to the medicine cupboard. Puffy raised her eyebrow as he grabbed the bottle but he just moved around her, going to grab a glass.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he flinched away, banging into the counter. He turned around to see Niki staring at him in shock. He dropped his head and continued over to the sink, filling his water once he got there.

“Dream,” Niki finally said. “What happened at school yesterday?”

Dream remained silent, if he opened his mouth to say anything he wasn’t sure if he would be able to stop himself from telling them everything. He didn’t want them to worry. To walk around him on eggshells. He didn’t want to see pitying glances when he walked past.

“Dream you know we don’t tolerate being rude. You said you would go to a party and then you snapped at them when they were asking why you changed your mind,” Puffy stated.

Dream remained silent where he sat, this isn’t fair. Quackity yelled at him first, it was them who were trying to force him into going to a party. Still he didn’t say anything.

“Give me your phone Dream,” she sighed.

“No,” his mouth spoke before he gave it permission. He was surprised by his voice, it was cold and firm, cracking slightly towards the end. He could see the shock on their faces. He had never refused to give them his phone before.

“Dream,” Puffy warned, her anger growing.

Dream debated his options, he really didn’t want to give up his phone but he knew they would keep it for longer if he refused. He knew if he explained they would let him keep it. But that involved telling them everything, even why he snapped when Quackity said-. No he couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t do that. He would deal with this by himself. They didn’t deserve to have to deal with him.

“It’s not fair,” he whispered. He slid his phone along the table and quickly left the room. He hurried up the stairs pushing past his brothers and into his room. He sat down on his bed and stared at the wall. He wondered if he could stay in his room forever and never come out again.

It was only the first day of midterm. He wasn’t sure if it was a good thing it was midterm or not. It was good that he didn’t have to go to school and see his friends even though they all had football practice. However, he hated that he was left alone with his thoughts.

The only thing that was even remotely the same was football. He had practice this evening and he wasn’t sure if he was going to go. He still loved to play it but the pain in his chest and back made it extremely difficult and he knew his friends were cross at him.

He had practice in a little while so he grabbed his bag. He decided to leave early so he could walk. He felt like he was suffocating in the house, like there was nowhere he could breathe properly. The fresh air would do him good.

He was first to arrive at practice so he made his way onto the pitch, stretching a little to try and loosen the muscles in his ribs and back.

The others slowly started arriving, he pretended not to notice the dirty looks benign shot his way. He could hear them whispering probably about him and they all stayed in a huddle a good bit away from him. When the coach arrived he walked over to Dream.

“How drunk are they?” he asked, amused.

“I wasn’t at the party so I have no idea, but I mean-,” Dream trialed off, gesturing to the group who were trying to see who could bounce the football on their heads the most times.

The coach chuckled, “Laps it is then.”

After 30 minutes of running the coach called for a quick break before they started doing drills. Dream sat down by himself on the edge of a bleacher, slowly sipping his water bottle.

He had fully expected to be sitting by himself so he jumped in surprise when Techno sat down next to him. Dream could feel him staring at him clearly trying to figure out why Dream would flinch like that.

“Dream,” Techno aked. His voice low, borderlining a whisper. “Are you alright?”

Dream was in so much pain both physically and mentally, that the tone of Techno’s voice nearly had him crying. Techno, one of the toughest and most antisocial people he knew, was trying to help him. He was speaking in a quiet voice trying to keep Dream calm but all it did was send him off in a panic.

He couldn’t tell him. He didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes when he told him. He didn’t want to watch as he walked away in disgust and never talked to him again. He didn’t want him to tell the others. He would leave him. They would all leave him. He owls be by himself. He didn’t want to be by himself.

He didn’t want to be by himself.

He didn’t want to be by himself.

Not anymore. Maybe Techno would help him. It was worth a try. He was going to lose his friends anyway, they weren’t talking to him anymore. Maybe telling Techno would be good for him.

Dream opened his mouth.

A shrill whistle sounded through the air and the coach shouted for them to start back again. Dream flinched at the noise. He turned away from Techno and made his way down the field.

After a little while they had finally finished. The boys piled into the changing room for a shower. Dream made sure to go very quickly hoping to be the first to leave. He was finished getting dressed and packing his bag when the others made their way out of the showers. Dream clearly dropped his shoulders and passed them.

He was passing the bleacher when Tommy shouted at him.

“Hey dickhe*d, why weren’t you at the party,” the child yelled.

Dream walked passed, choosing to ignore the jabs and mocking. He eventually answered him, hoping he would leave him alone if he did.

“I didn’t want to go, Tommy,” he sighed.

He heard someone scoff behind him. “Oh ya sure.”

He turned to see Quackity, Karl, George and Sapnap behind him.

Sapnap rolled his eyes, “He just wanted to hang out with other people.”

He could feel his blood boiling, could hear the rushing of blood through his head. A moment of hatred washed over him. They shouldn’t treat him like this. Even if he just didn’t want to go, they as his friends should respect his decision. He deserved better than this. He could hear them talking but he wasn’t processing what they were saying. His head finally caught up with the conversation.

“What was your f*ck last friday not good enough huh,” Quakity sneered.

Dream doesn’t remember punching him. He only remembers stepping away from Quackity, who had blood running down his face. He stared in horror. Did he do that? Oh my god, he hurt someone. He hurt someone on purpose.

Dream turned and ran. He ran and he ran and he ran.

Chapter 4: Drowning

Chapter Text

He ran all the way home. The car was missing from the driveway and he sighed in relief when he realised he would have the house to himself for a couple of hours at least. Pulling a key from its hiding spot beneath a plant pot, he quickly made his way inside.

As he made his way to his room, he was unable to stop his harsh and panicked breathing. He knew his parents would know by the time they got home. Niki was supposed to pick him up from practice and they would definitely tell her what happened. She was supposed to pick Puffy up from work and collect Tubbo and Ranboo from Phil’s.

Unfortunately for him, a couple of hours later Niki dropped Puffy home before going to collect her sons.

He was still sobbing when he heard the door downstairs open, but he couldn’t find it in him to care and just hoped that it would take her a minute to come upstairs.

His breathing picked up when he heard her call him. He huddled farther into his blankets, hoping she would go away. He started to shake again when she opened the door.

“Hey Dream,” she whispered.

He buried his head further into his pillow.

“Can you tell me what happened today?” she asked.

He didn’t respond. He didn’t know how. He couldn’t tell her what happened. He didn’t want to disappoint her. He should have been better. He shouldn’t have gone to the party. He should have told them the day it happened. Why did he wait so long? He couldn’t tell them now.

Would they believe him?

His breath caught in his throat at the thought. Would they even believe him? What if they didn’t? Quackity probably wouldn’t, neither would any of the others. It was his fault. He deserved it.

“Please Dream,” he heard her beg. “This isn’t like you. Please tell me what’s wrong? Was it something we did?”

Silence.

She stood up to leave the room. “Please, tell us what’s wrong when you're ready. We’ll be downstairs,” she whispered.

He heard the door close behind her as she left the room. He was so selfish. He had made them feel like this was their fault. He should have hid it better. He should have been better. It wasn’t that big of a deal, why was he so affected by it. He should be better than this. Why was he like this? Why wasn’t he good enough?

He was weak.

A coward.

Useless.

He didn’t deserve their kindness. It was his fault. This was his fault. Everything was his fault. He scratched at his arm until the skin burned. He was gasping for air, his heart beating loudly in his chest. He felt like he was dying. He threw his head back, whacking it against the wall behind him. The pain was numbing. It hurt, it hurt a lot. But it gave him something to concentrate on. He no longer left like he was drowning.

In that brief moment of clarity, he scrambled to grab his phone. The bright light of the screen glaring at him as he scrolled through his contacts. His finger settled over a number.

Techno. He wanted to call him. He needed to talk to someone. Anyone. He needed someone to tell him he would be okay. He needed someone to help him.

Someone.

Anyone.

Help.

His room had never felt smaller. He felt like he couldn’t breath. He was inhaling but his lungs weren’t getting air and they started to burn. His head was pounding and his heart was racing. He threw his head back again, a sharp pain washing over him.

He needed the feelings to go away. He hit his head again. This time, it started to sting. He brought his hand up to touch his head, hissing when he touched the broken skin. The room was spinning and Dream clutched his head. He felt like he was at the party again. He had no control over his body. Over his thoughts and feelings.

“Hello,” a voice rang out. Dream glanced down in surprise. When had he rang Techno? How much had he heard? Would he be able to save him?

“Dream,” the voice asked. Dream whimpered, pain shooting through his skull.

He could hear the urgency in Techno’s voice. “Dream,” he repeated. “Dream, what’s wrong?”

Dream moved his head to answer, crying out at the pain it caused him. The back of his neck was sticky with sweat and blood. Why wasn’t the bleeding stopping? How hard had he hit his head?

“Dream, you're scaring me. Please answer,” Techno’s voice rang through the speaker of his phone. His voice was desperate and Dream's stomach sank with guilt.

“Help,” he whispered. “Help, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He heard the bang of a car door. “Where are you Dream?”

“Home,” he mumbled incoherently. “Home, I’m sorry. Please help.”

“I’m on my way Dream. Can you open your window?” Techno asked.

Dream nodded before realising Techno couldn’t hear him.

He swallowed roughly, “I can try.”

He pulled himself out of his bed, wincing and whimpering at the stinging pains in his head. He shuffled over his window, collapsing against the wall. Hitting his head again by accident.

- - - -

Techno cringed at the noise that left Dream. He pushed his foot down harder on the pedal. The drive to Dream’s house was familiar, the darkness making no difference to the journey. He pulled onto Dream’s street.

“I’m almost there Dream, hold on for me.”

He pulled in a couple houses down, parking the car and rushing over to Dreams house. He made his way around the side of the house and into the back garden. Techno pulled himself in through Dream’s window. His eyes slowly adjusted to the dark room. His stomach dropped and his eyes widened with horror. His friend was lying on the floor, his head covered in blood. He dropped to his knees next to the blond shaking his shoulder gently.

“Dream, please wake up. f*ck, Dream, wake up,” he muttered. Dream groaned, his eyes fluttering open.

“Techno, “ he croaked. Techno winced at how rough his voice sounded. “Head,” Dream whined. “Hurts.”

Techno sprung into action. He carefully propped Dream up against his bed and promised to be back in a couple minutes. He snuck into his friend's kitchen, grabbing a water bottle and Puffy’s first aid kit. He made his way back to Dreams room, closing the door and turning on the light.

Dream winced at the bright light, leaving out another pained whimper. Techno carefully got to work, he took out a sanitizing wipe and some bandages, setting them down on the bed gently.

“This might sting a little, but I need to make sure it doesn’t get infected. Okay?” he whispered. Dream nodded his head, reaching up to grip Techno’s hoodie tightly.

Techno tore open the packet and unfolded the wipe before pressing it against Dreams head. Dream whimpered and tried to pull away, but Techno kept a firm hold on his head. He pulled the wipe away and folded it in half to use the other clean side. He wiped the cut quietly apologizing each time Dream let out a noise of protest. Finally satisfied with the cut he wrapped a gauze around Dreams head being careful not to pull it too tight.

Now that he was sure Dream was going to be okay, he pulled him into a well needed hug. Whispering words of praise and assurance in the younger ear. He could hear the repeated apology falling from the other lips like a broken record player and frowned.

“It’s okay, Dream. It’s alright Dream, I’m not mad. I’m very glad you called me,” Techno whispered. “I have to ask though, What happened Dream?”

Dream glanced up at him before speaking, his words slow and slurred. “I couldn't breath, I was scared and I hit my head.”

Techno took a minute to try and figure out what happened. What he was telling him combined with what he heard on the phone made Techno think he was having a panic or anxiety attack. It wouldn’t surprise him, Dream’s behaviour had changed a lot recently.

The boy was normally outgoing and sarcastic. Extremely energetic but yet not overbearing. He was a firm favourite among the people at school and yet recently something had changed. He had heard him crying in the bathroom Thursday evening, he was jumpy and seemed to be uncomfortable with loud noises and lots of people.

Techno bit his lip in consideration for a moment. Should he ask him what happened to make him so upset? He needed to know but he didn’t want to push him too much and send him back into the state of panic he had been in when on the phone. He had been surprised to get a phone call from Dream at 2 in the morning, but had answered it without hesitancy. He knew Dream would only call at this time if it was urgent.He was honored that Dream trusted him as much as he did.

Techno decided to try and keep the conversation going. He didn’t know if Dream would ever ask for his help again and this could be the only chance he had to figure out what happened and properly help him.

“Dream, did something happen to you recently? You seem very scared and upset,” he asked. He was careful to keep his voice even and gentle. He could visibly see the changes in Dream at his question.

He started to breathe faster and his hands started to shake. He quickly tried to reassure him.

“It’s okay, you're alright. I just want to help you Dream. I’ll keep you safe,” he promised.

Dream's hands twisted Techno’s hoodie pulling him closer to the younger boy.

“You promise,” he heard. His heart broke for the boy who was normally so confident.

“I promise,” Techno confirmed.

“At the party last friday,” Dream started. Techno heard the hesitation in his voice and pulled him closer waiting for him to continue. He didn’t care how long he had to wait. He wanted Dream to trust him and to feel safe telling him.

“I didn’t-, I didn’t have that much to drink, or at least I don’t think I did,” Dream whispered.

“You had less than me,” Techno agreed. Dream nodded seemingly slightly consoled.

“I went to the bathroom because I didn’t feel well. He followed me in and he blocked the door-,” Dream trailed off his voice choking on sobs as tears finally spilled down his cheeks.

It wasn’t a lot of information but it was enough. Techno knew what had happened. He was in shock, he never thought that something like that would happen to someone he knew. He pulled Dream closer, promising him he wasn’t mad.

“God Dream, you should have told us,” he exclaimed. “This isn’t something you can deal with on your own. You don’t have to deal with this on your own.”

Dream was now practically sitting in Techno’s lap. Normally Techno wasn’t a fan of physical contact, avoiding it when possible. But he knew his friend needed this. He deserved this. He had been dealing with this alone and Techno swore it would never happen again. He would help Dream. He would try and help him get better. Even if he had to piece him back together himself.

Chapter 5: Lean on us

Chapter Text

When Dream woke up the next morning he was propped up against the headboard of his bed. He stretched, rejoicing at the lack of pain. He quickly realised that this was thanks to Techno. The older boy must have strapped Dream’s ribs before he left.

Dream glanced around the room before he noticed a yellow sticky note on his bed-side table. The note was from Techno. It explained how he had left early this morning to stop Phil from worrying. It also asked if he wanted to go to the football field later for a while. I texted him a response, telling him I’d be there and asking if he needed me to bring a ball.

They met up after lunch, practicing some kicking and throwing. The atmosphere was calm and friendly, a smile slowly growing on Dream’s face and remaining there throughout the day. They had parted ways a couple hours later, after Techno had announced he needed to head home for dinner.

The rest of the weekend continued like this. Techno made sure to get Dream out of the house everyday. He also made sure to try and keep his mind off of what had happened, even if it was only for a few hours.

Dream felt lighter than he had been in a while, somebody knew. Techno was helping him, he would keep him safe. Dream had sent Techno a short thank you text every night even though Techno said he enjoyed spending time with Dream as much as Dream enjoyed spending it with Techno.

It was late Sunday evening when things changed. He was curled up against the arm of the couch watching a movie with his family. Ranboo and Tubbo were on the other side of the couch, while Puffy and Niki shared the armchair. Dream felt bad when he glanced over at them, the two were squished together, felt with barely any space to breath.

He was also in a lot of pain though. He had taken the bandages on his ribs off to shower and couldn't get it back on. So he had gone without it. But that meant he was in pain all over again, as his body adjusted to the lack of support.

They were watching a sh*tty rom-com movie and Dream had fallen asleep half way through. His dream was not pleasant, the opposite as such. He had woken in a cold sweat, shooting straight up from where he was sitting wrapped in a blanket. Thankfully, the other didn’t notice too enthralled in the movie to notice what had happened.

He couldn’t help but think of his dream. It had felt so real. Dream curled in on himself, wrapping his arms around his knees. It had felt so real, it was almost like he was back there. He could feel the hands roaming his body, touching and feeling every curve of his body.

And suddenly he was back there, the pale walls were slick with condensation. He was pressed into the floor, his face sticking to the cold tiles. He started to shake in fear and pain. He couldn’t tell if the pain he was feeling was real or not. It was probably both, a mix of real and phantom pain. He felt paralised, pain shooting through his head and travelling down his torso settling in his thighs. His mind was fuzzy, vaguely he could hear someone calling his name.

He tried to shout, to tell them. ‘I’m in here. Please. Help.’ The rush of blood in his ears became louder, the noise blocking out the person’s calls. Almost as if they were walking away. He started to sob, losing himself to the pain and hopelessness.

The A hand touched his shoulder and he jerked away. No this couldn’t happen again. He fought against the person, kicking and shoving them away until they gave up trying to approach him. He could hear someone screaming. But the person calling him had returned, this time they were closer. Their voice was familiar and warm. Dream tried to concentrate on their voice, his imaginary surroundings fading away to be replaced by real ones.

“Dream?” he heard the voice asked quietly. It was Puffy. Her voice was gentle and kind.

It was then he realised that it was him who was screaming. He snapped his mouth shut, hsi jaw aching at the sudden movement. A violent sob ripped from his body, and he curled farther in on himself. He could hear her coming closer and felt the dip as she sat down.

“Hey sweety, do you think you can take a deep breath for me? Look follow my breathing. In and Out,” she said, exaggerating her breathing to make it easy for him to follow.

He slowly started to calm down listening to his mothers breathing, the occasional hiccup or sob break the serene silence that covered the room.

“Dream, what happened?” she asked gently.

He started to shake again. “I’m sorry,” he babled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sor-,” he trails off, a sob wracking his body.

Puffy moved over closer to him and pulled him into her lap. “It’s okay darling, I promise we’re not cross. I’m just worried about you. What happened to you duckling?”

He sniffled quietly and buried his head into the crook of her neck, her arms tightened around him and tucked him under her head.

“Please Dream we’re all worried about you. I haven’t seen you eat in a couple of days and you’re barely home. Did something happen? Did we do something?,” she asked worriedly.

Dreams hot up straight, “No, no, no it wasn’t you, it was never any of you.”

Puffy sighed in relief, “then what is it Dream? Please duckling, Niki and I are really worried.”

Dream could see the unshed tears in her eyes.

He shook his head frantically, “I didn’t-, I didn’t want you to worry. I-, please don’t worry. It was my fault. It is my fault. I deserved it.”

Puffy’s face was twisted in horror, “I don’t even know what happened Dream, but I know that you didn’t deserve it.”

His mouth moved faster than his mind and he found himself stuttering, “I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to, it hurts Mama, it still hurts.”

“Dream, I-, What happened to you Duckling?” she squeaked.

He sobbed loudly, “My head was fuzzy, and he followed me into the bathroom and locked the door. I couldn’t fight him off. I didn’t want to Mama, it hurt.”

He could feel Puffy gasp, “Oh Dream, my duckling, my poor baby boy. No, no this can’t be happening. This shouldn’t be happening.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please don’t leave, please, I’ll be better. I promise I’ll be better,” he stuttered, clinging desperately to her, his hands knotting themselve in her hoodie.

“No that’s not what I meant darling, this isn’t your fault. You didn’t deserve this. You're so brave, sweety, Niki and I are so proud of you. But you don’t have to be strong now, lean on us. Let us help you,” she begged. His resolve broke and he curled into himself tighter, wrapping himself into her arms.

“I’m so tired but I can’t sleep, everytime I sleep I see him and I can't get away. I can never escape,” he whimpered.

Puffy’s arms tightened around him. “I’m so sorry duckling, you don’t deserve this.”

“At lunch on the last day of school, Quakity said something at the table about the party and me just looking for a quick f*ck and that’s why I snapped at them. I know that he didn’t know but it still hurt that he said I wanted it,” he rambled, desperately trying to get her to understand.

“And then he said it at football practice and I was just-, just so-, so angry and I punched him. I know I shouldn't have but I didn’t want it and I said no and the man didn’t listen. He didn’t listen. God why didn’t he listen. I said stop, I said stop, it hurt Mama. Why didn’t he stop?”

“I don’t know duckling, I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve this,” she held him tightly to her chest.

They sat in silence. Puffy was grateful that he trusted her enough to tell her, but at the same time she was disappointed in herself for making him feel like he had to keep it a secret for as long as he did. Dream was just so thankful that she was still here and that she didn’t leave. She was here, holding him, promising to help him.

Puffy’s mother instinct soon kicked in.

“Please duckling, please try and eat something,” Puffy begged, pulling him up and off the bed.

She wrapped over his shoulders and gently led him into the kitchen. She sat him down at the counter and pulled out her phone. He glanced at her in curiosity.

She smiled warmly, “I’m going to tell Niki to come home, she left to drop Tubbo and Ranboo to Phil’s when we couldn’t calm you down. But I think we need to tell her what happened, okay?”

He sagged in relief, “That’s-, That’s fine. Thank you.”

She rubbed with back gently, and moved to take out the bread, putting two slices in the toaster.

“I-, I’m not sure how much I will be able to eat,” he whispered guiltily.

“It’s okay,” she responded, “Even a little bit of food will be fine.”

They sat in comfortable silence, as Puffy made him toast. The gentle hum of a car in the driveway alerted them of Niki’s arrival. Dream tensed up again and Puffy moved to his side wrapping her arms around his shoulders and whispering words of assurance in his ear.

Dream was panicking. He didn't know if he could explain again, he didn’t want to see the disappointment in his Mom's eyes. The door opened and Niki walked into the room, taking her shoes off at the door.

She walked straight towards them and with every step forward she took the more Dream started to shake. She marched around the table and wrapped her arms around him tightly. He sighed shakily, and she pulled him into her chest, stroking his hair gently.

The three sat in relative silence, none of them moving, even when they heard the toaster pop.

“Dream can I please tell her,” Puffy asked. The two adults in the room kept their eyes on the boy, waiting for the shake of a head that confirmed a yes. The nod was subtle and singular but Puffy instantly took it as a yes and grabbed Niki’s hands.

“Do you remember last Friday?” Puffy asked, her voice shaking. “Dream was at a party.”

Niki nodded her head, a wave of dread washing over her at the shakiness of her wife’s voie.

“He-,” she took a second to compose herself. “He was sexually assaulted Niki.”

Niki grasped the boy and pulled him closer to her. She could see the matching tears finally fall from Puffy’s face and gestured for her to join the hug.

The three stayed there for a long time.

Puffy and Niki were hoping to provide any sort of comfort to the boy. They silently begged for forgiveness for not noticing something was wrong straight away.

But Dream sat there content in his Mothers arms, basking in the first feeling of safety he had received in days.

“Dream,” Niki whispered. “Dream we should probably take you to a doctor.”

He scrambled back from them, tipping his chair over in panic. “No, Please I don’t want to.”

Puffy frowned, “Hey duckling, it’s okay. We won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. But please darling at least let me see your ribs. You keep flinching from touch.”

Dream nodded silently before reaching down to pull his shirt over his head squeezing his eyes shut. He didn’t want to see how bad it was but the gasp that left his Mothers lips was enough of an explanation. He felt a cool hand press against his ribs and he flinched violently away. He whispered at his own sudden movement and wrapped his arms around his chest.

“I’m so sorry duckling, I’ll make sure to tell you what I’m doing as I do it okay.”

He slowly un-wrapped his arms and listened to Puffy’s voice, which was gently guiding him through what he was doing. Niki had moved behind him and started to gently rub some cream onto the bruising there.

Puffy whispered. “Dream I really think we should take you to the doctor. Even if it's only to get your ribs checked out.”

Dream hiccuped but otherwise remained silent. When he didn’t answer Niki kissed his forehead, making him promise to consider it.

The two adults guided him to the couch and the three curled up together. They stayed there sitting in silence, until they eventually fell asleep.

And when Dream woke, screaming in the middle of the night. He was wrapped in a warm embrace within seconds and for the first time, fell back asleep.

Chapter 6: He didn't deserve this

Chapter Text

It was late on Friday night when a knock sounded against the door. Philza quickly got up to answer the door. He had sent Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo to bed over two hours ago and Wilbur had followed shortly after still wrecked from the party and football training.

He met Techno’s eyes and could see the silent question in them. The knock sound again and Phil opened the door, his eyes softened at the sight at the door. Niki was standing there and she looked like a mess. The bags under her eyes alerted Phil of her lack of sleep and the dried tear tracks that stained her face worried him more than he cared to admit.

“Hi Phil,” she whispered. “I was wondering if I could get some advice, you know, parent to parent.”

He nodded and opened the door wider to let her inside. He led her into the living room and saw Techno raise his head from his book.

“Niki,” Techno sighed. “How’s Dream?”

They both saw the way Niki’s head drop. Techno realised quickly that Dream must have told them about what happened.

Niki sighed shakily.

“Dream was sexually assaulted at the party on friday,” she breathed, tears starting up again.

Phil went still with shock for a moment before pulling Niki into a hug. “What,” he grunted, his voice quiet.

“He hasn’t told us much,” she sobbed. “But it’s pretty clear what happened. I don’t know what to do. He won’t eat. He barely sleeps and when he does sleep he wakes up screaming.”

Phil cursed softly but Techno remained quiet. He knew Dream was struggling but he hadn’t told him he was having nightmares.

“He won’t let us take him to the doctor, but Puffy convinced him to let her check his ribs and he’s covered in bruises. It looks so sore Phil. This isn’t supposed to happen. Not to my baby, he doesn’t deserve this.”

Techno could feel his temper rising. Even though he knew, he still felt the bubbling rage whenever it was mentioned. How dare someone hurt his friend? He felt an arm pull him into the hug and he wrapped his arms around Niki.

“I’m so sorry Niki,” Phil choked out.

“I can’t help but feel that I failed him,” she whispered. It was quiet for a minute.

“Niki,” Techno whispered. He hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I already knew. Dream called me in the middle of the night during a panic attack, he had hit his head off the wall and hurt himself. It was really scary.”

Both Niki and Phil looked at him in surprise.

“You knew,” Niki mumbled. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Techno flinched. “He made me promise not to, I’ve been trying to convince him to tell you guys especially since…” Techno trailed off.

“Especially since what,” Phil questioned.

“I-,” Techno swallowed roughly. “I think he hit his head on purpose.”

Niki broke down in sobs and Techno felt his breath catch in his throat. He didn’t want to upset her.

“Niki,” Techno started. “All weekend Dream and I have been hanging out, and he’s told me very little but I could try and convince him to go to the doctors, if you’d let me.”

Niki hesitated for a second, “I’ll ask him, I tell you what he says when I come and collect Ranboo and Tubbo tomorrow. I’m sorry for dumping them with you, I hope they weren’t much trouble.”

“They were no bother at all Niki, they kept Tommy entertained and out of my hair for once,” he chuckled.

“I better head back home, Puffy was strapping Dreams ribs and trying to force him to eat something,” she winced. “He threw up everything he ate last night and has refused to eat anything today.”

She headed out the door, pulling her keys from where she shoved them into her pocket.

“Thank you again Phil, Techno.” And she was gone as quickly as she arrived.

Phil slumped down into a chair, shutting his eyes. “That poor family, they never catch a break huh.”

At the lack of response Phil opened his eyes and looked across the room, “Tech.”

“I-, Phil, there were so many of us at that party, sh*t, Phil, at the Lunch table Quackity said that he was just looking for a quick f*ck.”

“Techno,” Phil called. “Techno this isn’t your fault, it isn’t anyone’s fault but the bastard who did this to Dream. But he’s going to need you guys to be strong for him. He’s going to need his friends.”

Techno nodded, sniffling softly. “It’s just that. Of all the people, he didn’t deserve that. He already struggles so much. It’s so-, so unfair, Phil.”

“I know Tech, I know. Hopefully he’ll let you visit him tomorrow.”

- - - -

Techno waited in the kitchen, nervously fidgeting with a pen. He was waiting for Niki to collect Ranboo and Tubbo and maybe him if Dream agreed to let him visit.

Ranboo entered the kitchen, “Mom texted me saying that she’s here. Thank you for letting us stay with you Phil.”

Techno and Phil shared a look and Techno’s heart dropped. Dream must have said he couldn’t visit.

“I swear to god Ranboo, you have a head like a sieve,” Tubbo laughed. “She also said Techno was coming with us.”

Techno stood up and the three made their way out the door. Phil waving them off.

Tubbo and Ranboo piled into the back seat, leaving Techno to take the front.

“Hey Mom, how are you?” Ranboo asked.

Niki smiled softly, “Ranbbo, Tubbo we need to talk.”

“We didn’t do anything,” Tubbo blurted.

“It’s not about you, it’s about Dream.”

The two in the back went silent and Techno joined them, ultimately deciding that this was not his place to say anything.

“Dream was sexually assaulted.”

Even though he already knew Techno still felt the breath get knocked out of him. He heard Tubbo’s quiet ‘what?’ from the back of the car.

“He was raped, Tubbo,” Niki explained.

A quiet sob broke the silence and Techno turned to see Ranboo holding a crying Tubbo.

“You don’t need to talk about it to him, in fact he would probably prefer if you didn’t. But be gentle around him for a little while, Techno is going to try and convince him to let us take him to see a doctor.”

By now Niki had pulled into the driveway and the group were all sitting in silent.

They headed inside the house and Niki gestured to Techno to head upstairs. Techno stood outside the familiar door and braced himself for the conversation they were going to have.

He opened the door and stuck his head inside. He could see Dream sitting up in bed, the pillows around specifically placed to protect his ribs. He smiled when he saw Techno and waved him into the room. He sat up straighter and the blanket fell down his chest.

Techno gasped at the expanse of bruises and bandages covering his chest. He had seen it before but in the light it looked much worse. “Holy-, Dream you really should get that checked out.”

Dream’s face fell slightly.

“I-, I’m scared, Techno, I don’t-.”

“I know Dream, I can’t imagine how terrifying this is for you, but please you could be seriously hurt,” Techno pleads, moving to sit on the edge of his bed. “And you wouldn’t be alone, anyone would go with you, yours moms, your brothers, me, Sapnap, George. Literally anyone would go with you.”

His head dropped at the mention of his friends and Techno mentally kicked himself.

“That reminds me. I don’t-, I don’t know how I’m g-going to tell them. They’re going to be so disappointed. They’ll h-hate me,” he rambled, his hands fidgeting with the edge of the blankets.

“They won’t, if anything they’re going to feel guilty.

Dream we were at that party, nearly all of us were and nobody noticed. I didn’t notice,” Techno whispered, leaning his head back on Dreams headboard.

Dreams' eyes immediately snapped open and he glared at Techno for even insinuating it was his fault.

“It’s not your fault, if anything it’s mine I should have realised that my drink was drugged,” Dream argued.

Techno frowned, worrying his lip between his teeth. “Dream I really, really think you should go to the doctor. I know you don’t want to but your Moms are so worried about you. Niki came to my house the other day crying because she was so worried.”

They sat in silence for a while and Techno could see the conflict raging in Dream’s eyes.

“I’ll-, I’ll do it, can you please call them up here,” Dream asked quietly.

Techno left the room and a couple of minutes Puffy and Niki came into his room. “Techno said you wanted to ask us something.”

“Would you-, Could you-, uh, If you wouldn’t mind could you take me to a doctor or...something.” Techno heard Dream stutter.

From his spot outside the door Techno smiled. Dream would be okay. It might take a while but he was sure of it.

Chapter 7: Secrets revealed in anger

Chapter Text

Dream was sitting in a hospital bed, clutching Puffy’s hand as they waited for the doctor. Her fingers gently rubbed the back of his hand, in a calm, soothing motion. A female doctor walked into the room and Dream felt ashamed at the way his shoulders dropped in relief.

Dream had asked Puffy if he could just tell the doctor that it was a nasty football tackle that caused the bruising. She quickly agreed. He wasn’t ready to talk to a stranger yet. The doctor had been very careful and Dream had a feeling she knew this wasn’t the result of football, like he had said. But she didn’t ask any question so Dream was happy.

So as Dream sat waiting to be taken to the waiting room, he wished he had made Puffy wait until the morning to take him. He was exhausted but he couldn’t relax. The hospital smelled of strong sterilizer and death.

“You're over exaggerating,” Puffy had defended when he voiced these thoughts.

A trolley was pushed past the door, a whiff of vomit and blood coating the air.

Dream glanced at Puffy, “Sure.”

A different doctor entered the room, gesturing for them to follow him. They were brought to a waiting room, Puffy sat down on one of the cold hard chairs, Dream sitting next to her. He was really regretting not waiting until the morning, as he tried desperately to force his eyes to stay open. He eventually gave in, his eyes closing softly and his body swaying to the side, landing gently in someone’s lap. He felt a hand run through his hair, and the constant motion soothed him to sleep.

The x-ray itself was mainly a haze of uncomfortable exhaustion. The room was cold and damp, and he had to move into an uncomfortable position so that they could take the x-ray.

He had fallen back asleep the second he and Puffy had made it back to the original bed.

He awoke to voices talking above him.

“-He’s lucky nothing is broken-, going to give-, stronger pain killers-, keep his ribs strapped because he has some deep bruising.”

Dream didn’t even care, he could feel someone gently guide him into the car, tying his seatbelt for him.

He had fallen asleep once again and the next time he woke up, morning light was filtering in the gap between his curtains.

He and Techno were meeting at the football pitch again. He had messaged Techno this morning to tell him how the hospital had gone, and Techno was making him promise to stop the second anything hurt. Dream reluctantly agreed.

Techno had even kept the drills they were doing to a minimum, only allowing Dreamt to kick or throw the football. Neither had known that the other were going to use the field as well.

The second they came into view, Dream had frozen, his eyes glued to the figures of his friends.

“Dream?” Techno asked. “What is it?”

“I-, They’re here,” Dream whispered.

Techno followed Dream's gaze and finally met the eyes of their friends.

He grabbed Dream’s sleeve pulling them over to their bags and quickly packing their stuff away. Dream just stood there, lost in thought. Techno could feel the others’ gaze’s on his back and glanced at Dream who was still frozen.

“I’ll drive you home,” Techno whispered.

The two made their way down the field. Techno could feel Dream becoming tense with how close the others were getting.

“Hey Techno,” George called.

Techno gritted his teeth and gave him, what he hoped, was a short f*ck-off wave. Apparently they didn’t get the message.

The group approached the two and Techno took a step in front of Dream.

“What are you doing hanging out with this loser,” someone taunted.

Dream whimpered from where he stood behind Techno. He was the only one that heard it.

“Don’t call him that,” Techno growled.

Quackity sneered, “I’ll call him whatI want.”

Techno punched his hand in the front of Quackity’s shirt lifting him off the ground with surprising ease.

“Quackity did nothing, it’s Dream who is being the asshole,” Sapnap spat.

Techno laughed maniacally, “That’s a f*cking lie if I ever heard one.”

Dream seemed to be the only one who could hear Techno losing his temper. He reached for Techno, forcefully pulling him away from the other boys. Quackity stumbled back, falling into Sam. “What the f*ck, man.”

Techno could still feel Techno pulling at his sleeve. He turned to walk away. He really was going to walk away-,

“Couldn’t wait long enough to find someone else, huh Techno. Had to be balls deep in something as fast as possible, even if it was just this slu*t.”

Techno didn’t know who said it and frankly he didn’t care. Red had filled his vision and he had returned to the group, throwing punches at anyone unfortunate to be within range.

In a moment of clearance he pulled away from the group. He could hear Dream yelling at him to stop. He could hear the other boys shouts of confusion, unsure of which friend to support. He counted to ten in his head, chanting to himself to ‘walk away Techno,walk away.’

He promises he was going to walk away.

“Did you know that he was out f*cking people at the last party? Did you Techno? He was probably begging for it. Probably asking -,”

Techno didn’t care that Quackity didn’t know. In his opinion he shouldn’t have said them anyway. He tackled Quackity to the ground, throwing punch after punch at the others face.

He was blinded by rage.

“He didn’t ask to be assaulted,” he roared. “Quite the opposite actually.”

He instantly knew he had f*cked up. The others stared at him in shock.

But Techno let Dream pull him away from them. Dream sat into the car, turning himself a way from Techno and leaning against the window.

“Dream?” Techno asked.

No response.

Techno sighed and put the car in gear, carefully backing out of the parking space.

When they arrived at Dream’s house, Dream was still giving him the cold shoulder.

Techno parked his car and turned to Dream. He sighed, “What did I do to deserve the cold shoulder Dream?”

The tense silence remained for a moment before a hoarse whisper broke it.

“I didn’t want to tell them.”

Techno felt the guilt wash over him but he didn’t understand why Dream was so upset. He was about to ask Dream when the younger continued.

“It wasn’t your business to tell,” Dream whispered. His voice was rough and scratchy, desperation tangled with fear and anger.

Techno felt even more guilty, it was Dream’s decision to tell them. He shouldn’t have said anything.

His voice was hoarse when he spoke and he hated it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Dream nodded seemingly trying to keep his emotions in check.

It made Techno more distraught, “It’s not okay. It’s not okay at all. I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry.”

Dream stared at him for a moment before pulling him into a hug. He buried his head into Techno’s shoulder, inhaling deeply. He knew that Techno didn’t mean to hurt him and while he was still mad at him, he didn’t want him to be upset. Techno clutched at Dream’s shoulders pulling his friend closer.

He laughed. “I should be the one comforting you, not the other way around,” he could feel Dream grin into his shoulder.

“I’m just so great that you cry over me,” Dream gloated.

Techno laughed even louder, “You keep telling yourself that.”

Chapter 8: Let us earn it

Chapter Text

A couple weeks of radio silence had passed between the group. Well it was more like Dream was putting as much effort as he could into avoiding his friends but that was basically the same thing.

Dream had another doctor visit today, the doctor wanted to make sure the bruises on his ribs and back were healing well by themselves. He had the same doctor as last time.

“Hey Dream, how are you doing?”

Dream smiled at her and uttered a quiet ‘fine.’

“And how are you feeling, nothings as sore as it was a couple weeks back?” she asked, pulling on some gloves.

He shook his head.

“Alright honey, I’ll just ask you to take your shirt off so I can check.”

Puffy pulled herself out of her chair, dropping a kiss to the top of Dream's head and reminding him that she would be outside.

The doctor turned her back to him and Dream quickly stripped off his shirt. He sat down on the hospital bed, lying back so that the doctor could check his ribs.

Dream flinched away when the doctor pressed down on a particularly sore part of his ribs and found himself unable to move. The doctor had a firm hand on his chest to keep him from moving and further hurting himself but all he could feel was trapped.

He felt unable to move and could feel himself descending into unwanted panic. He refused to say anything to the doctor, she wouldn’t know why he needed her to let go and he already felt pathetic as he was. She turned him onto his back to check those ribs and Dream felt like he was back there.

His cheek was pressed to the floor and his breath had been crushed out of him. The phantom feeling of a heavy, sweaty body on top of him freaking him out. He had to stop him, he could let it happen again.

He screamed and started to struggle, surprisingly the weight was removed immediately and he was able to scramble back and press his back against the wall. A hand touched his shoulder and he flinched away until the soothing voice of his mom cut through the haze of panic.

“Hey Dream, you need to breathe,” his mom prompted. Her own breathing exaggerated to make it easy for him to copy. “Come on duckling, follow my breathing, in for 4, hold for 7 and out for 8.”

Dream slowly returned to reality, his breathing slowly evening out and his body relaxing. Puffy pulled him forward and into her chest. He laid his head on her shoulder and the two of them just sat there and breathed.

The doctor returned after a few minutes but kept her distance at the far side of the room. “Hey Dream, you feeling better now?”

Dream nodded sheepishly but if the doctor minded she didn’t show it.

“Listen Dream, I don’t know what happened to you but I know that panic attacks like that aren’t a normal reaction. I’m going to suggest you go to therapy,” the doctor explained writing something on her clipboard.

Dream’s stomach sank, “NO.” He shook his head frantically, “I don’t want to. Just-, just tell me if I can go back to playing football or-, not.”

The doctor seemed to contemplate her answers. “Physically you can but Dream I really don’t think you can practice if you’re having panic attacks like that.”

Dream’s head dropped. Football wasn’t normally so important to him and under other circ*mstances he wouldn’t have cared, but football was proving to be the best distraction he had at the moment.

Puffy noticed the way her sons seemed to droop like a kicked puppy and decided to compromise. “How about this, I’ll let you go to football practice under two conditions. One, you must stop if anything hurts or you feel panicked and two, you must agree to see a therapist.”

Dream reluctantly agreed.

In the car ride home Dream started to realise that maybe therapy would be good for him. Ranboo had had therapy sessions when Puffy and Niki first adopted him and Dream had gone to a couple family sessions before. He decided that if Ranboo could do it at four years old, Dream could do it too.

And so, the next evening Dream went to football practice.

He was nervous, extremely nervous. He would see the others for the first time since Techno blurted out his secret.

He had asked Puffy to drop him off two or three minutes late, in hopes that he would be able to use that as an excuse to avoid talking to them.

It didn’t work.

They were sitting on the benches, of course the day Dream came back to practice would be the day that coach would call a pre-practice meeting. The group were in the middle of their discussion when Dream arrived, he glanced around noticing that Techno was sitting at the edge of the group. Surprisingly, Quackity wasn’t present. Dream had decided to wait at the edge of the bleacher for the meeting to end.

Unfortunately for him, luck wasn’t on his side that day.

“Oh Dream, you’re here, are you going to join us for practice?” the coach asked.

The question would not normally bother him, except now the whole team was staring at him.

“Yeah, doctor cleared me but I may need to take a break,” Dream explained, moving to sit next to Techno, who was defensively between the empty space and the others.

“Alright, you take breaks when you need them, we have a match in two weeks so if you take care of yourself hopefully you’ll be able to play that,” the coach told him.

Dream nodded and the coach resumed the meeting, unaware of the regretful, guilty glances that were being shot Dreams way. Or if he saw them he ignored them.

The warms up started soon and the group took off on a slow jog around the field.

“Dream,” he heard Sapnap whisper. He ignored him, continuing to run next to Techno. “Dream, could we talk?”

Dream froze for a second, “Not now, later.”

Oh god, had he just told them he would talk to them. He didn’t want to talk to them. He didn’t, did he? He knew he wanted his friends back. Techno was the best thing he could ask for but nothing would beat gaming and movie nights with Sapnap and George.

He missed them.

Training passed with little trouble. He had even found himself enjoying the company of others company. The stupid jokes that reminded him so much of before everything had happened. The pointless messing and joking around, that would leave his lungs aching from laughter and his stomach twisting. The snarky comments and playful insults that they dropped on each other, the overdramatize lines and sarcastic responses. It left him wheezing and breathless, unable to concentrate properly and barely catching the footballs that were thrown in his direction.

After training, Dream had been approached by his friends. Techno was standing behind him but did not intervene when the others approached. Dream needed to talk to them, even if he didn’t realise he did.

“Hey Dream,” George murmured. “How are you?”

“As good as you can expect,” he shrugged.

“Dream,” Punz stepped forward. “We are so, so sorry Dream.”

“We know what we have done is unforgivable,” Sapnap mumbled his voice breaking slightly. “We don’t deserve your trust.”

“Let us try and earn it back, let us try and earn our forgiveness, let us try and regain your trust,” Sam pleaded.

Dream remained silent processing their words. They didn’t deserve his apology, they didn’t deserve his forgiveness. But he was lonely and he wanted his friends back. He deserved that. Didn’t he?

“I accept your apology but I’m not sure if I can forgive you just yet,” Dream explained.

A look of relief crossed Sapnap’s face, “That’s more than we could ask for. More than we deserve.”

“Can we hug you Dream?” George whispered.

A lump formed in Dream’s throat and he nodded his head. Two sets of arms wrapped around him. Closely followed by more people joining the hug.

“I know we’re late and we should have been there for you on day one, but if you need us, don’t be afraid to ask.” Sam whispered, Punz quietly expressing his agreement.

Dream hadn’t forgiven them yet but he had opened the door to forgiveness, it was up to them on whether they stepped inside.

And as Dream left practice that night, he felt content and more relaxed than he had been in ages. Most of the pieces of his shattered heart had been put back in place, it was now up to him to glue them together.

Chapter 9: It's my fault?

Chapter Text

Dream was sitting in his mom's car staring out the window at the building that loomed overhead, casting a shadow over the car. Dream was dreading this more than he realised. He was currently debating asking his mom to leave and to go another day instead, but he had made a deal and he wanted to at least try to fulfill it.

Dream slid down in his seat as Niki stopped the car. His hand was gripping his thigh so tightly he could feel bruises starting to form. He felt his hand being pried off his leg and glanced up to see Niki giving him a comforting grin.

“Do you want me to go in with you and wait in the waiting room?” Niki asked.

Dream considered asking her but he knew that it would make more sense for her to use this time to go get some errands done.

“You can go do your stuff, but will-, uh-, will you please make sure to be on time?” Dreams voice was tight as if he was afraid to ask.

“Yes, of course I can,” Niki reminded him.

Dream nodded and stepped out of the car. He shook out his arms and legs before straightening himself and heading into the big building. He waved to Niki before the door shut behind him. The counter was empty so Dream took a seat while he waited for somebody to return to the counter.

It had taken Dream almost ten minutes to sign in, so he was sent straight into the doctor once he had finished with the forms. The secretary had led him to a cozy room with a burning wood fire and a comfortable fur couch. The doctor was sitting in an armchair, reading a book and drinking tea.

Dream sat in the room for what felt like eternity, with a doctor trying to force details out him. Dream was naturally a very good liar, the fact that this man could just come in here and lecture hime. What did he expect for Dream to drop to the floor and worship the ground he walked on. No you had to earn Dreams trust. No more than ever before.

Dream was sitting in Niki’s car on the way home. That was one of the worst experiences. He couldn’t believe he had managed to let Niki convince him to go to another. He was not looking forward to it to say the least.

- - - -

Dream sat into Puffy’s car after his second therapy session, too disorientated to even realise that it wasn’t his siblings in the back this time.

“Hey Dream,” Wilbur greeted him. Techno said nothing but Dream knew he was glad to see him.

Dream couldn’t say the same though.

He felt like an overflowing dam. Any minute the tidal wave would crash through, destroying everything he had gained, everything he had made for himself. He didn’t want them to see him like that. Dream remained silently staring out the window as Puffy drove out of the parking lot and turned onto the road.

They were halfway to Phil’s when the dreaded question, he had been avoiding was asked.

“So,” Puffy started. “How was Dr. Scheener?”

Dream froze. He had been hoping to avoid talking about it. All he really wanted to do was to go home and curl up in his bed.

What were you wearing?

How drunk were you?

Regret sex isn’t rape.

You probably led him on.

You asked for it.

Dream’s shoulder started to shake as he was reminded of how the session had gone. Dr. Scheener was just as bad as Dr. Baker. In fact Dr. Scheener wasn’t even trying to be subtle, even going as far as to tell Dream that he wouldn’t report it to the police if Dream admitted he was lying.

Dream could feel his will braking as the doctors voice echoed in his head.

Why were you drinking?

You should have watched your drink!

You should have been more careful with your drink.

That was your fault.

It was your fault.

“Dream,” Techno asked. The three were clearly, waiting for Dream's response and were probably confused by his silence. Techno’s voice was gentle, reminding Dream of all the times Techno had said it wasn’t his fault.

It wasn’t his fault.

Dream finally let the tears flow, a violent sob wracking his body.

Puffy’s eyes widened in alarm, “Dream?”

“He-e said it was my fa-ult,” Dream hiccuped. “But, B-but it wasn’t right?, right? I didn’t want to, said stop, wan-ted it to sto-p, I want it to stop,” his breathing was ragged and he stuttered and scrambled his words.

Techno and Wilbur shared a look of shock, wasn't the therapist supposed to help Dream. Dream dropped his head against the window and the three winced at how hard his head hit the window.

“Want it to stop, make it stop,” Dream begged. The car was silent for a moment.

“Stop, please,” Dream shouted desperately. Slamming his head back against the window. “Stop, stop, no, no, no,” he enunciated each word with a wack.

Techno quickly unbuckled his seat belt, throwing himself into the front and wrapping his hands around Dreams head. Puffy was desperately trying to find a place to park and had taken one of Dreams hands in hers giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Dream,” Techno whispered.

“My fault,” Dream chanted on repeat. “My fault, my fault, my fault?”

Dream slammed his head again and Techno cried out at his hand was crushed between Dreams head and the window. Dream gasped and tried to shove Techno away from him.

“I’m sorry, no, no, no, I hurt you, I hurt you,” Dream wiggled in Techno’s grasp.

“Dream, Dream, Dream, you didn’t hurt me, it just surprised me that’s all,” Tehcno explained, clutching the boy to his chest and rocking gently.

Puffy pulled the car over and quickly flung off her seatbelt. Techno gladly passed Dream into her lap, knowing that he needed her in that moment. Techno glanced at the look of pure fear on his brother's face. He knew that he would have to explain that to him and by the looks of it Wilbur could use a hug but Techno’s priorities were on Dream.

He looked back at Puffy and had to be careful to keep the smile from his face. Dream’s 6’3 frame was wrapped around Puffy like a koala. Puffy was humming softly and Dream was resting his head on her shoulder, seemingly lost in happier thoughts.

“Dream,” Techno muttered, gently taking Dream’s hand in his. Dream opened his eyes sending Techno a gentle smile that the older easily returned. “You promised you wouldn’t hurt yourself again.”

Techno cursed as the smile dropped from Dream’s face.

“I’m sorry,” he stuttered. “Didn’t mean to-, I-.”

“It’s okay Dream, I’m not cross. It’s just very important to us that you don’t hurt yourself on purpose or by accident.”

Puffy and Wilbur both made a noise of agreement.

“What happened with the therapist, Dream?” Wilbur asked.

Dream shook his head roughly, “I don’t want to talk about it. Please don’t make me talk about it.”

“It's okay Dream you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. We’ll look into nyou getting a new thera-.”

“No,” Dream whispered. His voice was quiet but firm. “No more therapists.”

“But Dream they could be very helpful-”

“No, please,” Dream pleaded. “I don’t want to. Please don't make me. I’m sorry.”

“We’re not going to force you to do anything that you don’t want to do, alright duckling?” Puffy told him.

Dream sniffled and pulled Techno into a group hug, attempting to make Wilbur join in as well. They stayed there like that for some time.

Talking.

Laughing.

Repairing.

Healing.

He would get better, after all he had the most amazing family he could ask for.

Chapter 10: When nightmares are reality

Chapter Text

Niki glanced around in confusion, her head slowly clearing and becoming less foggy. She’s quickly alerted of the bright overhead lights flashing overhead, the movement slow to match the others in the room. She could see loads of teenagers dancing on the dance floor, slow motion jumping up and down, swaying to the beat of the music.

Or at least she assumed it was to music.

She couldn’t hear anything.

Niki could see people’s mouths moving and could feel the sound waves coming from the computer, but she felt like she was watching from the outside. Like an outcast glancing, longingly through the window.

She glanced around the party, quickly coming to recognize some faces. They looked familiar. She knew these people but she couldn’t quite recall who it was. It was like the faces were slightly blurred, enough so that the alcohol running through her system prevented her from recognizing it.

More of these faces were appearing and Niki was quickly becoming frustrated. No matter how many people she saw, she couldn’t quite grasp who they were. She scanned the room, her eyes glazing over the faces until she suddenly spotted someone she finally recognised.

Dream. That was her son.

She tried to move towards him. Being shoved and pushed by, sweaty, drunk teenagers. She watched Dream as he danced with another familiar but disguised face. She found herself starting to smile as she watched her son grin as he danced with his friends.

A sudden shine reflected off his cup, drawing Niki’s attention to it. She felt a wave of horror rip through her gut.

Someone was pouring the contents of a glass bottle into his glass. She picked up the pace shoving her way through the crowd. She watched in terror as Dream lifted the cup to his lips downing the contents before putting away the glass and walking away with the friend. Niki tried desperately to get to them but the hoard of teenagers pushed her away.

By the time she got off the dance floor Dream was gone.

She moved to a quieter spot, to the corner of the room, to the left of the drinks table. She watched as a group of teenagers approached the table and decided to try and talk to them.

“Hello,” she greeted them.

The teenagers ignored her, instead continuing to argue over something.

“Hello,” she repeated. Niki reached over to tap one of them on the shoulder.

“Hey I was wonder-” her hand had gone through the person. She stepped in front of them, frantically waving in hopes one of them would see her.

She stared at her hands in shock. She was a ghost, or she had ghost traits apparently.

Niki was really in shock and the music suddenly started to become louder. It blared through the room, vibrating her eardrums to the point of painful. The music started to progress higher, the rhythms and lyrics mixing into a singular note.

The people around her, clasped their hands over their ears.

The sound was familiar.

Like a scream.

A familiar scream.

Dream.

Niki awoke with a start, the sound of screaming still ringing in her ears. She sat against the headboard, waiting for her body to relax. But the screaming seemed to get louder.

Niki’s eyes snapped open.

It was real.

Dream.

NIki leapt out of bed and hurried down the hall, not sparing a glance as her younger childrens bedroom doors opened. She flung open the door of her eldest child's room.

Dream was curled up in his bed, thrashing and writhing, seemingly trapped by sleep. His screams had fallen into distinguishable pleads and whimpers. Niki made her way over to the bed, making sure to make a few quiet noises to try and inform Dream of her presence.

NIki was almost at the bed when Dream let out a strangled cry.

“Please stop,” his voice cracked violently. “Please, I didn’t do anything, no, stop please.” His voice was tender and hoarse.

Niki’s heart broke.

Again.

She sat down on the ground next to his bed, making sure to keep some distance between the two. She rested her head on the side of his bed.

“Hey darling, do you know who I am?” Niki asked. She wasn’t sure how aware Dream was and didn’t want to freak him out if he couldn’t figure out who it was.

Dream nodded. His head bounced aggressively.

“Hey, calm down, it’s okay if you don’t?” Niki whispered. “I’m your mom, Niki. I’m sitting next to your bed on the floor. Tubbo and Ranboo, your brothers are standing at the door. They’re worried about you,” Niki supplied. “They care about you. We all do. So, so much. Puffy would be here if she wasn’t taking a night shift as a favour.”

Dream breathing seemed to relax, now that he knew where he was and who he was with. He pulled himself up against the headboard. Niki decided to ignore the defensive position he was in.

Niki decided to slowly move onto the bed but made sure to keep her distances, opting to perch on the side of his bed.

“You did such a good job calming down,” Niki praised him. “Just a week ago you would have knocked my teeth out,” she giggled, her smile widening as a smile creeped on to her child's face.

“Dream,” a voice called from the door.

Niki turned to see Ranboo standing there holding out a bottle of water. He hadn’t come into the room, waiting for Dream to give him permission to enter.

Dream reached for the water and Ranboo walked forward and pressed the bottle into his hand. He gripped Dreams hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before retreating back out of the room. Dream drank the water greedily. Hoping to soothe or comfort his throat, it helped with the raspy lift his words had taken but had done nothing for the unpleasant burn that resided in his throat.

“I can make you some tea for your throat, if you’d like?” Niki suggested.

Dream shook his head and gripped her sleeve. “Don’t go.”

Niki’s face softened and she stood up, pulling Dream with her. “You come with me of course.”

And if two teenagers spent the next twenty minutes attempting to change Dream sheets so he wouldn’t have to sleep in sweaty, tear-stained ones; then that was their secret.

And if Dream went to bed with a sweet taste in his mouth and upside down sheets on his bed, well than that was for him to know and nobody else.

Chapter 11: Talks

Chapter Text

Dream shifted on his feet nervously, waiting for Sapnap and George to show up. The three were going to get lunch together and while Dream was excited he was also extremely worried.

He hadn’t spent time alone with them in a while but they were his closest friends. He missed the silly hangouts and ridiculously 3am calls, he missed the playful bickering and flirting, he missed them.

That’s why Dream had been delighted when George had messaged him about the three meeting up. The two wanted to give him another apology when it was just them.

Dream couldn’t help the grin that crossed his face when the two came round the corner. He waved at the two, who quickly hurried over to where the blond was standing.

“Hi,” Dream started.

George grinned at him, “Hello, where are we going to eat?”

“I want to go to Frankies,” Sapnap announced.

“Let me rephrase that,” George said forcibly. “Dream where would you like to eat?”

Dream chuckled at the pout that crossed Sapnap’s face. “I don’t mind, we can go to Frankies as long as you’re okay with it, George.”

Sapnap bobbed his head frantically and George sighed. “If you’re sure.”

Sapnap cheered and the three started walking toward the small, fast food place.

A little while later, the three were sitting at a window booth in Frankies. They had already ordered and the continuous snarky banter had Dream in a better mood than he had been in for a while. A comfortable silence had settled over the table before George cleared his throat.

“Dream, we and Sapnap owe you an apology,” George started.

Dream frowned, they didn’t need to apologize, “Guys you don-.”

Sapnap interrupted him with a loud cough, “I already know you are going to say we don’t owe you an apology but we do. In fact we owe you much more than an apology.”

“We were terrible friends,” George nodded in agreement. “Even if we didn’t know what happened to you, it doesn’t excuse any of our behaviour. You deserve better Dream. Anyone who meets you knows that. You are one of the best people to be around, always somebody you could go to for help but when you needed us, we failed you.”

“We were horrible to you and I hope that we could try to earn forgiveness, but we understand and accept that we don’t deserve it and it’s entirely up to you,” Sapnap input.

“I’m sorry Dream. I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me. I’m sorry for ever thinking for a second that you were bailing on us for someone else. I’m sorry for saying what I did. I’m sorry for hurting you,” George finished.

“I’m sorry as well,” Sapnap says. “I’m sorry for being a sh*tty friend. I’m sorry for not standing up for you. I’m sorry for not listening to your side of the story. I’m sorry I didn’t realise what happened. I’m sorry that nobody at the party noticed you were gone. I’m so, so sorry.”

By the time they had finished, Dream had tears running down his face.

“Can I hug you?” George asked.

Dream hesitated for a second, but that was all George needed to see.

The brunet retracted his arms, “It’s okay if you can’t, don’t ever feel like you are required to. If you don’t feel comfortable then say so, what happened to you is a big deal and it’s always going to affect you. But hopefully we can try to make it easier for you.”

“You guys are the best,” Dream sniffled.

“Bare minimum, dude. It’s just the bare minimum.”

- - - -

“No,” Dream whispered.

“Please Dream,” Niki begged. “I really think you need to try again.”
The two stared at each other in a stare off. Niki tries to convince him to try again and Dream is convinced he doesn’t need to.

“I don’t want to,” Dream mumbled, wrapping his fingers in strands of hair.

Puffy reached for his hands and pulled them away from his head to stop him hurting himself.

“We don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to,” Puffy hummed. RUnning her hand soothingly through his hair. Gently unknotting his hair. “But you haven’t been able to sleep the last couple of days and we’re worr-.”

“No,” Dream cut her off.

- - - -

“They keep trying to get me to go to therapy again Techno,” Dream groaned. “I don’t need to go, I’m fine.”

Techno remained silent, his eyes tracing Dreams' figure with hesitant disagreement.

“Yes, fine that’s exactly how I would describe you not eating or sleeping,” Techno muttered, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Dream eyes flashed, “Don’t you start, you're supposed to be on my side.”

“I am on your side,” Techno argued, raising his hands in mock surrender. “But I refuse to agree with you if you say your fine.”

Dream opened his mouth to retort but Techno continued quickly. “I’m not saying you have to go to therapy, although I think you do. But you're not fine and lying doesn’t make you fine either.”

Dream rolled his eyes and Techno sighed.

“Listen I’m just saying you should consider it Dream, you had very bad luck. Therapists aren’t supposed to be like that, the one I had when I was younger was great,” Techno muttered.

“I’ll think about it,” Dream muttered, teeth clenched and a forced smile.

Techno sighed, knowing Dream was not going to consider it.

“That’s all I ask.”

- - - -

Ranboo ventured out to the porch and quietly sat himself down next to Dream.

The two sat in silence for a couple of moments, the only sound heard was the constant tapping of the rain against the windows.

“If you're here to try and convince me to go to therapy again, you might as well go back inside,” Dream mumbles.

Ranboo remains silent.

The rain seemed to belt against the window harder, and Dream shivered subconsciously.

“Do you remember,” Ranboo started. “Do you remember, when you guys first adopted me?”

Dream smiled at the question. Of course he did, he remembered every moment. From the day Puffy and Niki sat him down to talk about a new sibling, to the day he arrived, to baking cookies on Christmas eve and sitting in the rain in a similar position to this.

Ranboo was the best thing that happened to their family. Tied with Tubbo though, of course.

“Cause I do,” his brother continued. “I remember it. I remember sitting in these same spots a couple weeks later as you made me a promise.”

“You made me promise to try therapy again and if I didn’t like it you would buy me a donut,” Ranboo laughed. “You ended up buying me one anyway.”

Dream smiled at the memory.

“Try again,” Ranboo asked. Pulling a little box from where he had hid it beside him, he placed it in front of Dream before heading inside.

Dream glanced at the box suspiciously and carefully picked it up. Inside was a donut, a chocolate one, his favourite. Dream shook his head, god he was a sucker for this kid.

Chapter 12: The Game

Chapter Text

Dream sat in the waiting room, his bouncing leg the only outward indication that he was nervous.

Internally, however, Dream was freaking out.

He was terrified that this was going to be like the other therapists. He didn’t know what he would do if that happened again, he didn’t think anyone would be able to stop him having a panic attack.

They all said the same thing.

It was his fault.

But it’s not his fault.

It’s not his fault.

It’s not his fault, right?

Dream could feel his breathing speed up as his brain dragged him into a spiral of negativity. Before he could get too bad the door across the room creaked as it was open and Dream worked to carefully control his breathing.

In.

And out.

In.

Out.

“Dream?” a soft voice called across the room.

Dream stood up numbly and followed the women out of the room. He was led to a small office at the back of the clinic. He fidgeted nervously with his fingers. Sitting himself down on the chair across from the women.

Now that they were face-to-face Dream noticed how young she was. He was probably just out of college and Dream wondered if she had possibly graduated early.

The woman smiled at Drema before launching into a short introduction about herself. He found out her name was Dr. Sarah and she had a PhD in psychology. She was engaged and hoped to get married early next winter.

Dream was right, she had graduated a year early.

What he wouldn’t have guessed was the reason she graduated so early. She was obviously academically gifted but the main reason was that she used her work as a distraction and a way to cope after she was sexually assaulted.

The conversation slowly drifted to Dream telling her about himself, his family, school; anything that crossed his mind. And no matter how small a thing he told her, she still listened, still cared. She never interrupted him or told him to get to the point. She just listened as he vented about everything,

Dream left the session feeling better then he had in weeks.

He had not entrusted her with details about why he was there and she did not ask; although Dream doubted she didn’t know.

But it left good to have someone to vent to, who didn’t know the people he was venting about. It made it easier to explain how he left without the blanket of guilt on his shoulders.

His thoughts left clearer and he actually felt that maybe rebuilding his friendships could be a good thing.

After all, she had reminded him that he was in control and could stop the friendship whenever he wanted.

Dream slept better that night.

He didn’t sleep long.

But he slept well while he did.

- - - -

The next couple of weeks flew by with little problem.

Dream was slowly mending his friendships but had yet to talk with Quackity. He didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. On one hand Quackity had hurt him, he had hurt him badly and he didn’t deserve that. But contrary to what people thought he and Quackity were very close. In fact Dream was the first person Quackity told about his troubles at home and as far as Dream knew he was the only person told. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried about him.

He didn’t think he could excuse Quackity behaviour, he didn’t think he needed to. But it wasn't healthy to be isolated from, or fighting with your friends. Dream knew from experience. Quackity looked tired, he had large bags under his eyes and was quieter. Even other people had started to notice.

One evening Dream had even tried to approach Quackity to talk but the younger had darted away and disappeared into the sea of students. He knew he would have to talk to Quackity soon, he wanted to talk to him.

Dream sighed and scratched his head.

For now though something else had taken priority in Dream’s mind.

Today was his first day back playing a football match.

Dream darted around the house, quickly grabbing a couple last minute items. A car honked from outside.

“Dream,” he heard Puffy yell. “We have to go.”

“Coming,” Dream shouted, stuffing an extra water bottle into his bag.

He sat into the car with Puffy and couldn’t get the smile off of his face, he would be playing his first full game since before it happened today. He was excited and rather proud of himself. He was starting to get some bits of his life back. Niki, Tubbo and Ranboo were all planning on coming to watch but decided to drive over when the match was going to start.

“Now, you know the rules,” Puffy started.

“If I don’t feel good I must come off, ya, I know,” Dream muttered.

Puffy rolled her eyes and gripped the steering wheel tighter, “I’m serious Dream.”

Dream opened his mouth to respond but caught Puffy’s eye in the reflection of the mirror. He decided to save her the hassle this time, “I promise.”

Puffy nodded reassured, albeit hesitantly. She pulled into the car park of the field and the two separated. Puffy leaves to talk to another parent, Techno’s dad, who Dream thinks is called Phil. Dream jogs over to the dressing room, grinning at George when he saw the other boy was running slightly late as well.

George waved at him, “Are you excited to be playing again?”

“You bet I am,” Dream laughed.

“Maybe we might actually win a game for once,” George grumbled.

“I only missed one game George, it’s not like you guys had a losing streak or something.”

“It sure feels like one.”

Dream swung the door of the dressing room open, quickly moving to an empty stretch of bench between Techno and Sapnap. George quickly slipped in next to Dream.

The four exchanged friendly banter, laughing and mocking each other as they changed. The easy flow of conversation was distracting, and slowly dragged more and more people into the conversation until a majority of the team were standing in a circle around them, listening and adding their two pence to the conversation.

Warm up went smoothly and they seemed to be quite evenly matched with the other team. Dream could tell that this was going to be a tough match. The team had a last minute huddle before entering the field, words of encouragement and advice flying around the table. The referee called the captains out and Dream, who had reclaimed his title, quickly made his way to the middle of the field.

As he walked, he scanned the bleachers, hoping to spot his family. They weren’t too difficult to find considering Ranboo and Puffy’s multicoloured hair. Dream grinned and waved in their direction, mindlessly hoping they were looking at him. He laughed as they waved back before turning to face the other team's captain.

His heart dropped.

It was him.

It was the guy from the party.

Chapter 13: Number 13

Chapter Text

Dreams breathing hitched and he took a protective step back. He was fighting to keep his breathing stable and could feel his hands shaking. A sick grin had crossed the guy's face as he reached for Dream's hand.

He squeezed Dream’s hand far rougher than necessary.

It burned Dream’s skin. The blond flinched and pulled his hand away quickly.

“Hello, Dream,” he said, his voice cold and mocking. Dream took a hesitant step back and clenched his fist.

He knows my name.

He knows.

How does he know?

The referee raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“You two know each other?” he asked.

“Old friends,” the guy whispered.

Dream could feel his body shake. “Ya,” he squeaked, “friends.”

The referee glanced between the two, a suspicious look on his face.

“Alright then, heads or tails?”

- - - -

Dream won the toss and took full claim of his victory, sending a smirk in the other direction and quickly picking to play with the wind, facing away from the glaring sun.

The game started, with Dream’s team taking the lead.

Dream thought the teams were easily balanced and as the first half played out he noticed the game turn into a ping pong game. His team would score and then the other team would score.

They were currently level and Dream prepared to throw the ball when a body slammed into him causing him to lose the ball to the other team.

He growled in frustration.

“What’s up Dream?” the person teased.

Dream froze. He knew that voice.

“Get off me,” he muttered through gritted teeth. “Get off me now.”

“Why?” the other muttered.”I thought you like being under me.”

Dream whimpered and shoved at the other’s chest.

His breathing spread up and the noise around him suddenly got quieter, Dream’s heart beating in his ears.

Suddenly, he wasn’t at the football field anymore. He was there, back at the party.

He didn’t care that people were watching. He couldn’t let it happen again.

He wouldn’t.

He kicked and pushed at the other, frantically fighting for freedom.

The other suddenly rolled off him and jogged away. The referee's whistle and his teammates' shouts filled his ears.

The noise was loud and overwhelming. It reminded Dream of the party.

His shoulders shook as he resisted the urge to cry.

“Dream?” he heard.

Techno was standing in front of him with a hand outstretched to Dream.

Dream took his hand and Techno helped the blond off the pitch.

Once Dream reached the bench he curled into himself as his hand reached for his head.

He pulled at his hair trying to find anything to focus on. He needed to calm his breathing and his thoughts. His brain was running faster than normal, if that was even possible.

He was aware of nothing and everything at the same time.

“Dream?” Techno questioned, reaching to wrap his hands around Dreams wrists and pull them away from his head.

Dream whimpered and curled into himself.

“Dream?” Techno asked again, raising his voice slightly to try and catch the blonds attention. “What happened?”

Dream let out a quiet sob and pulled his knees to his chest.

A couple of teammates had noticed and approached Dream. Standing in a huddle around him.

“Dream, please” Techno begged, desperation coating his voice at the blonds unresponsiveness.

“Dream?” that was George’s voice, he was closer to Dream now. Kneeling next to him on the ground. “Can you please talk to Techno?”

“We just want to help, Dream,” Sapnap muttered, low and gentle.

“Number 13,” Dream whispered.

He could see confusion grace the other’s features.

“Number 13 was-, is the guy from-, from the party,” Dream stuttered. “The guy who,” he trailed off. It wasn't a lot but it was enough for Techno to figure it out.

Silence descended in the group.

“I’m going to kill him,” Techno grumbled. Trying to pull away from Dream.

“No, don’t-, Techno stop,” Dream cried. “Don’t.”

Techno and Dream glared at each other, in what seemed to be a stand off.

Techno eventually glanced away, guilt filling his gut at the scared look in Dreams' eyes.

“Fine,” he grunted, shoulders dropping in defeat.

He kept glancing over his shoulder to where, Dream assumed, the guy was sitting. The group huddled around him tightly. As if blocking him from the view of the other would stop him from getting hurt.

“You might have convinced Techno not to but I will,” Sapnap muttered under his breath, his teeth gritted.

“Not with all these people here,” Dream pleaded anxiously.

“Screw the people,” Sam grumbled. And Dream looked up in surprise before realising more people had joined the little group.

“Please don’t,” Dream whispered. “I don’t want you to.”

“Why do you care about the people?” Punz grunted, his mind seemingly counting the number of ways you can murder a person.

“What are you going to tell them when they ask why you randomly marched over to the other team and started berating the guy up?” Dream demanded. “I don’t want everyone to know.”

The group descended into silence, knowing a defeat when they saw one.

The whistle blew signalling the end of half-time but nobody moved. Dream stood up and grabbed his helmet, jumping slightly when a hand was placed on his shoulder.

“No, you're not going out there again,” Techno growled.

“Please,” Dream breathed, his voice shaking. “I need to-, I need to do this.”

“Dream, we have plenty of players, I’m sure-,” George started.

“No,” Dream swallowed roughly. “I need to-, I need to show him that he hasn’t-, didn’t break me.”

- - - -

The rest of the match passed without trouble and Dream had relaxed by the end.

Punz had just received a nasty tackle and Dream’s team had gotten a free kick. The game had paused as the medics assisted Punz.

Dream bit his lip worried as he craned his neck to see if Punz was alright. He was so distracted he didn’t notice someone approaching him from behind.

“I don’t know what you told your teammates to be receiving these death glare,” the person growled. “But you better tell them it was a lie.”

Dream froze but didn’t turn around to face the person. He didn’t need to.

He tried to ignore the other and took a few steps forward towards Punz.

“Don’t you walk away from me,” he growled. “They're just pretending to believe you, you lying whor*.”

Dream heart was in his throat and he couldn’t stop the silent tears that trickled down his cheeks.

“You were asking for it,” he chuckled. “You could’ve stopped me and you didn’t.”

Dream’s shoulders tensed.

“Get away from him.”

“What?” the guy laughed, oblivious.

“Get. Away. From. Him.”

“Whatever Pinkie,” the guy muttered and marched away. “I could totally take you without your back up.”

Dream turned to see Techno and some of his other teammates around him.

The guy was right. They probably hated him.

God, they probably did think he was lying. They knew he could fight the other off.

“Dream?” someone asked softly.

A water bottle was pressed into his hand. When had they gotten over to the bench?

Dream eyes skimmed over each face quickly, doing an internal head count.

“Punz?” Dream asked, needing to know if his teammate was okay.

“What happened Dream?” Sapnap asked.

Dream shook his head. “Punz,” he asked again, desperation entering his voice.

“Punz is fine, Dream,” Techno whispered. “He was the one who noticed that the other was with you and sent us over.”

Dream nodded his head, “Punz is fine.”

Techno tilted his head in confusion. “Why didn’t you walk away?”

“Walk away?” Dream asked, his head fuzzy. What?

“You could have walked away from him Dream,” Sapnap whispered.

“You could have come over to one of us,” George added.

Dreams blinked in confusion.

Techno was really worried now, he had never seen Dream like this. “Sam go get Puffy or Niki,” he muttered.

Sam nodded and hurried away. Techno decided to try and ask something different, desperate for some sort of response. “Dream?”

A quiet hum.

Techno decided to tread carefully. “What day is it today?”

“Friday.”

Techno hummed in satisfaction. At least Dream wasn’t completely out of it. “What are we doing?”

“We’re playing a football game.”

Sapnap glanced at Techno, clearly confused.

By now Niki and Puffy arrived, Tubbo and Ranboo trailing behind them. Niki sat down next to Dream and pulled her son into her lap.

“What did he say to you, Dream?” Techno whispered.

They could all see Dream tense.

“He just said he-, uh-, he said that whatever I told you was a lie,” he mumbled. “But I promise I’m not, I’m not lying.”

“We know Dream,” Puffy whispered.

Dream stared at her in surprise, “But he said that-.”

“Ignore what he said, he’s wrong, Dream,” Puffy told him, bending down to kneel in front of her son.

“I hate him,” Dream whispered, voice broken and soft. “I hate him so much.”

“So do we Dream,” Ranboo piped up from Puffy’s side. “We hate him too, maybe even more.”

Dream buried his head in Niki’s shoulder, “It’s been months now and it’s like I can’t escape him. One minute I think I’m fine and then something happens and I feel like I’m back to the start. I hate this, I hate him.”

The group descended into silence, only broken by the occasional, heart-wrenching sobs from Dream. His crying was mostly silent, the only evidence being his shaking shoulders and NIki’s wet t-shirt.

“Recovery isn’t a straightforward thing, Dream,” Techno whispered. “But even though it feels like you're back at square one, I promise you that I and many of the others can already see that you're gradually getting better.”

Silence.

“And maybe it won’t get better quickly, maybe it won’t get better ever; but it will get easier and I promise you that all of us are here to help you,” Techno continued. His voice was gentle and it surprised his teammates to see such a soft side of Techno.

“Thank you,” Dream whispered.

“Anytime, all the time.”

Chapter 14: Nosebleeds and Lies

Chapter Text

“I’m just saying that we could totally throw George at him if we wanted to,” Sapnap whispered.

“Oy,” George shouted, smacking Sapnap across the head. The two descended into another squabble, attracting plenty of looks from the opposite team and crowd alike.

The group was huddled together on the bleacher where Dream had been sitting earlier. Dream and his family had retreated to the car, hoping the quieter space would be relaxing.

“Don’t mind throwing George, I’ll throw my fist through his face,” Techno muttered.

“I second that,” Punz growled.

“Well, why don’t we?” Sapnap proposed. “Dream’s not here and he doesn’t have to know.”

“Only smart idea you’ve had in a long time,” Techno teased.

Sapnap rolled his eyes, “On second thoughts, let’s just fight Techno.”

“Shut up, snapmap,” George taunted. “We should wait outside the locker rooms for him.”

The group made their way over to the locker room, cursing the curious glances they were getting.

“Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for half the football team to go, everybody’s watching us,” Sam informed them.

“We’ll go stand by the back door,wait for a few people to leave,” George suggested.

The group agreed and hurried around the back of the gym. They stood just around the corner and assigned George on lookout, to keep track of how many people were around.

“What’s the plan then?” Sapnap asked.

Techno hummed in consideration, “I guess we wait for people to leave and then go stand outside the front door to wait for number 13.”

“But he might leave while we are waiting for people to clear out,” Punz questioned.

“We just have to hope-,”

A door banged behind them and they all quickly turned towards the sound. Techno grinned in delight this couldn’t be more perfect if they planned it.

A player from the other team walked towards the, he was watching something on his phone and wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. At first glance he looks relatively harmless but the duffle bag hanging around his neck told a different story. ‘Number 13’ was printed on the side of the bag.

The player walked straight towards them, stopping in front of them when he noticed the shadow from around his phone.

He looked up and came face-to-face with burning red eyes and he turned quickly, legging it in the direction of the door. Techno’s smile widened, the door only opened from the inside.

The group walked towards the man struggling with the door and pulled him away from it by the hair, throwing him towards the ground.

“What the hell is wrong with you? I didn’t do anything?” He yelled alarmed.

Techno’s response was a swift punch to the face, “You know exactly what you did.”

“Whatever he said I did was a lie,” the player growled.

He was quickly silenced with another punch, this time breaking his nose. He coughed violently, eyes flashing with anger and blood cascading down his face.

“He’s just a f*cking whor*,” the player spat. “Falling around the place, practically begging for someone to use him.”

Techno saw red, he rushed forward punching and hitting the man with no end in sight. Nobody stopped him, nobody wanted to.

The player tried to fight back but was quickly deterred when Punz and Sapnap took hold of an arm each and pinned him to the ground. The silence and flop of the player indicating a quickly gained unconsciousness.

“Stop,” George whispered.

He was ignored, the rush of blood and adrenaline blocking out all the noise the other boys should hear.

“Stop,” he repeated, louder this time. No response. “Stop,” he shouted.

The others turned to face him, “I don’t care if you’re beating him up but please for the love of god don’t kill him. We can’t help Dream if we’re in jail.”

Tehno’s chest heaved, he would be lying if he said it hadn’t crossed his mind but George was right. “We’re done here, Dream needs us.”

The group stood and brushed themselves off, moving to leave when the door opened for a second time.

It was the player's teammate.

He glanced at the small group and then at his captain.

“Run, I’ll sort this out,” he muttered.

“NOt that we don’t appreciate it, but why?” Goerge asked.

“I know what he did, he deserves this,” the player muttered. “We wanted to have him kicked from the team when we found out but his parents come from big money.”

Sapnap’s mouth dropped open, “Do you think he’d try to sue us?”

“I’m pretty sure he won’t remember anything when he wakes up,” the guy laughed. “But if he does,” the guy locked eyes with Techno. “I have a voice recording of him admitting he raped your friend, he won’t be telling anyone.

George’s eyes widened and he unzipped his bag, reaching for a pen and paper. “I’ll give you Techno’s number and maybe you could send it to us in case Dream ever decides to go to court.”

The guy took the piece of paper and nodded, “I’ll send it to you later tonight but you guys have to go now, you can’t be here when he wakes up.”

The group hurried back around the gym, quickly melting into the crowds of people.

- - - -

Techno sat into Dream’s car, with his jacket zipped up.

“What took you so lo-, IS THAT BLOOD?” Dream whisper yelled.

“I-, uh, I had a nose bleed,” Techno responded, shrugging casually.

Dream narrowed his eyes, “I don’t know what kind of nose bleed you had, all the blood seems to be on your knuckles instead of your face.”

“Um, I washed my face and forgot to wash my hands,” he mumbled.

Dream laughed, “And what exactly did you wash your face with.”

“My hands,” Techno responded, blinking confusedly.

“You are a f*cking liar, Technoblade,” Dream laughed.

- - - -

Dream sat in the waiting room, his leg bouncing nervously. He had made his own personal goal to try and talk about everything with his therapist. He wanted to try and explain his feelings as well.

“Are you alright?” Niki whispered, reaching to take his hand in hers.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” he whispered.

“If you want to skip, don't think she’ll mind, you’ve been making amazing progress,” Niki whispered, pulling him into a hug.

“I want to go, I think I am ready to try and share some stuff with her,” he confided.

Niki grinned, “You're so-.”

“Dream,” the receptionist called.”

“Good luck,” Niki whispered. “I’ll be right here.”

“I’ll be alright,” he whispered, voice questioning.

“Of course you will,” NIki agreed.

Chapter 15: Do-over

Chapter Text

The weeks flew by, like he was living in a dream.

Techno drove him to school almost everyday and the two were closer than ever. After a quick conversation with the principal, Techno was moved to sit next to Dream during most classes.

The two were currently in English class, one of Techno’s favourite classes. While Mr. Bahn was a good enough teacher, he had an incredibly drowning voice. Dream was already so bored and it had barely been ten minutes.

He laid his head on the table, not really caring what Bahn said. His head was turned sideways and he could see Techno out of the corner of his eye. The other boy was sitting up, staring intently at the board with a joyful sparkle in his eye. Dream couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. His eyes crossed Techno’s face; choking a laugh at the concentrated frown on his face, did he ever smile?

He thought it was cute, his pink hair and happy eyes were much needed contrast to the scowl on his face and sharp jawline.

Dream jerked when someone poked him in the arm, whipping around quickly.

Sapnap winced, “Sorry dude, I just thought you would want to know that class is over.”

Dream looked around the classroom blushing violently when he realised that not only was class over, he, Sapnap and Techno were the only people left in the classroom.

“sh*t sorry, just let me pack up my things.”

- - - -

Dream was sitting on the floor of Phil’s living room, his back pressed against the couch. Techno was sitting on the couch behind him and was combing his fingers through Dream’s hair.

“Wilbur you bitch,” Tommy screeched. “Stop sneaking cards, that’s cheating.”

Wilbur smirked, “It’s not my fault you’re a sore loser.”

“I AM NOT A LOSER.”

Dream chuckled, relaxing as Techno started to braid his hair. The squabbling continued for the majority of the game and Techno’s quips didn’t help. When Tommy jumped for Wilbur’s neck, Phil decided that was enough go fish and put the playing cards away.

The group settled down to watch a movie, an argument about what they were going to watch quickly breaking out.

Phil quickly used his ‘I'm the father’ privilege to put on the saturday night movie.

Overall it was a pretty normal evening. At least it was until they watched the news.

“A man in his forties was arrested for possession of heroin. David HQ was caught yesterday by police with almost 3kg of heroin in his house. His son disappeared shortly after the arrest and police are appealing for anyone who might know where he is to tell him to get in contact with the police for interviews,” the TV blares.

“Oh sh*t,” Dream mumbled.

Multiple people look in his direction confused and concerned looks on their faces.

“That’s Quackity’s dad,” Dream explained. “Quackity told me he was quit, he was so f*cking happy that he had quit. f*ck he must be devastated.”

Wilbur would give Sapnap a run for his money with the colourful variation of violent curse words he left out.

“We have to find him,” Phil exclaimed standing up. Dream nodded, standing up and reaching for his shoes. A hand grabbed his wrist.

“If you need to stay here Dream, you can, the rest of us will go,” Techno whispered.

Dream shook his head immediately, “The arrest happened yesterday he could be anywhere by now. I appreciate your concern but our priority is Quackity’s safety right now.”

He could feel the shock and tension around the room. He knew what they were thinking. Quackity and him had not made up and Dream was understandably beyond upset and cross with him. However Quackity was alone somewhere, Quackity was hurting and no matter what he had said to Dream, his safety matters. They could go back to ignoring each other tomorrow right now they had to find him.

The group started sweeping the streets, each lost in thought trying to figure out where Quackity could be.

Even though they hadn’t become close until they got older. Dream and Quakcity were neighbours growing up and often spent time with each other in their respective backyards. They had gone to different schools all the way up until high school but Dream’s family had moved into a bigger house a year or two before they went to high school.

Dream can remember when he was younger. How Quackity would bring bags he had stolen from his father, for the two to bury in the woods. 7 year old Dream had thought it was a game, 17 year old Dream knew that the bruises that would appear in Quackity afterwards proved firmly otherwise. Dream remembers carefully putting cream on the bruises in their treehouse.

Their treehouse…

Dream took off running. Dream he heard Techno shout. Dream kept running, he didn’t think that treehouse would be stable enough to hold a person anymore. If Quackity had tried to sleep there he could have seriously hurt himself.

He raced through the streets and down the side of his old house. He could see lights inside and briefly wondered who lived there now. He quickly jumped the fence and entered the trees at the back of the garden.

The trees were dense and thick, clearly haven’t been travelled on frequently anymore. The only thing showing Dream he was going the right way was the occasional broken branch indicating another person travelling the same path. If Dream was right he would hopefully find Quackity at the end of this path.

Quicker then he remembered Dream breached the trees and appeared in an open clearing. There across the clearing was Quackity.

He was sitting propped up against a tree. There were remnants of their tree house on the ground around him but the man still appeared uninjured. Dream paused for a moment to catch his breath before moving to the other side of the clearing.

Dream sat down on the ground next to Quackity, waiting for the other to speak.

Silence.

“I-,” Quackity choked. “I never-, I didn’t think he was-.”

Dream frowned and pulled the older boy into his arms, rocking calmly back and forth.

“I knew something was wrong,” Quackity whispered. “But I never thought he would do something so-, so, so selfish! I never thought he would do something so stupid.”

“People do stupid things for no reason all the time,” Dream replied.

Quackity’s face dropped. “They do, trust me, I know,” he muttered.

Silence descended between the two again.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen now, he was my last remaining family” Quackity whispered.

Dream turned to face Quackity, the terror was visible on the boy's face. “You’ll probably be put in foster care-.”

Quackity shook his head frantically, “I turned eighteen last week, I’m on my own.”

Dream frowned, none of the others had mentioned Quackity’s birthday. Had he spent it by himself?

“You know we’re all here to help you Quackity,” Dream told him.

Quackity closed his eyes, “I don’t deserve help.”

“Everybody deserves help,'' Dream whispered.

“Except rapists,” Quackity added as an afterthought, hiccupping slightly as he scrambled his way through the words. “And murderers, unless it’s because they murdered rapists.”

Dream laughed lightly, “yeah maybe not rapists but you do Quackity.”

Quackity narrowed his eyes, “Why are you helping me? I was horrible to you.”

“Everybody deserves a second chance,” Dream responded, simply.

“Even me?” Quackity asked. His eyes were full of hope.

“I don’t think we can make up Quackity, if that’s what you’re asking,” he watched the others' face fall into acceptance, as if he had known and expected that long before Dream said it.

Dream continued the next part softly, “But if you would be willing to, we could try to start anew.”

Quality’s eyes lit up with hope, “I’d like that. Anything I can do to show that I am sorry and to try to support you.”

Dream narrowed his eyes questioningly, “Quakcity it’s going to take a while before I can trust me, you’re going to have to earn my trust back.”

“And I will,” Quackity promised.

Dream stood up and took a couple steps away.

He turned back to Quackity with a gentle smile on his face. “Hey, I’m Dream. I was sexually assaulted at a party a couple of months ago…” Dream hesitated for a moment. “But what happened was not my fault and with the help of friends and family, I’m starting to get better.”

Quackity turned to Dream, taking the blonde's hands in his.

“I’m Quackity and the only thing I’m sure about right now, is that what happened to you was not your fault.”

Chapter 16: A recording

Chapter Text

Dream should have known things were too good.

He had foolishly thought that he just deserved a break. Life had other plans.

School had been going well for Dream at the moment and his grades were starting to recover. After a vague explanation of the situation his teachers had willingly let him take the exams he had missed due to doctor appointments or a general inability to be in class that day.

Today his maths teacher had pulled him to the side and joyously congratulated him on his highest grade this year. Dream had gotten an A-. Dream was shocked after hearing his result and stared as the teacher walked away. Delighted, Dream had whipped around to tell Techno. Only to sheepishly realise that the other was out of school sick.

The two had gone for a picnic last weekend and had gotten caught in heavy rain. Neither had coats and Techno was facing the consequences. He was choked with a cold and had taken a couple of days off school to recover.

Luckily Techno was feeling better and had invited Dream over to watch a movie later.

The bell rang and Dream swallowed a gasp of relief, quickly packing his bag and rushing from the English class. He rushed out of the classroom, hoping to get out of the school before the throng of students who couldn’t seem to walk any faster than snails.

He managed to escape the prison that the government had dubbed school, and rushed to get to Techno’s house. He arrived at Techno’s street and grinned, quickly moving down the street.

“Oy, Dream,” someone shouted.

Dream frooze

He knew that name. No.

“Are you just going to ignore me?”

NO.

Dream took a sharp right down an alleyway, hoping to cut across to a c=back road and around in a square to Techno’s house.

Footsteps followed him. Echoing ominously and bouncing against the walls.

Dream glanced to the right and stopped dead; terror rushing through him. The dry-cleaners.

He was standing in front of the f*cking dry-cleaners.

The dry-cleaners that were situated on a different alleyway than Dream wanted to be on. This alleyway was a deadend. A hand grabbed Dream's shoulder, squeezing it hard and shoving him against the wall. Dream bit his tongue when he hit the wall, his back was going to be black and blue.

“It’s been a while, Dream,” the man smirked, digging his nails into Dream’s shoulder. Dream whimpered and yanked his shoulder back.

A growl sounded from the man and he turned Dream around; pressing him against the wall and twisting his arm behind his back.

“I didn’t like that little trick your friends played after the match,” his rapist hissed in his ear.

Dream shuddered, “You- you mean the one wh-where they beat the sh*t out of you.”

The man twisted his arm more and Dream yelped in pain. “Stop,” he cried.

“Are you proud of yourself?” the man whispered. “You let your friends beat up an innocent man?”

“Innocent!” Dream snarled, “You raped me.”

“Please, you were begging for it, falling all over the place. Batting your eyelashes at everyone and anyone who passed you like a cheap whor*,” the man chuckled darkly. “You're lucky it was me and not some other guy, you enjoyed it with me.”

“f*ck you,” Dream spat. “I didn’t enjoy sh*t.”

“Oh but you did,” the guy hummed mockingly. “If your groans and whining were anything to go by.”

The man pushed Dream further against the wall and shuffled around behind him. He suddenly heard the click of a phone and an audio started playing from behind him. Dream could hear himself in the audio. The man had taken a f*cking video while raping him.

Dream lost the little ability to breathe he had.

“This video was quite entertaining,” the man groaned. “Jacked off to it for months. But you know how it is, I’ve gotten bored.”

His finger slipped under the waistband of Dream's jeans, “I think I deserve another video for the sh*t your friends put me through, don’t you?”

“Step the f*ck back from my friend,” a voice shouted.

The man didn’t move.

“I said, GET OFF,” the man went limp behind him and Dream swung around away from the wall taking multiple steps away from him. He curled up against the wall on the other side of the alley and the reality of the situation hit him.

The man had tried to rape him again. He had a video. What if he showed his friends the video? What if he posted the video?

The voice knelt down in front of him. “Dream, I need you to take a big deep breath for me.”

“Quack-Quackity,” Dream gasped.

“Mi amigo, What happened to you, Dream?” Quackity whispered, although he didn’t expect an answer. “Come on, I’ve got to take you to Techno. He'll know what to do.”

Dream nodded but continued to rock back and forth.

“Come one Dream,” Quackity pleaded. “I really need to get you away from him before he wakes up,” Quality whispered, gesturing wildly at the man unconscious on the floor behind him.

Dream nodded, grabbing the wall and heaving himself up off the floor. Quackity moved to wrap Dream’s arm around his own neck to give Dream something to lean on.

The two slowly made their way out of the alley.

Dream suddenly reached out and grabbed onto a bin. “He has a video?” Dream croaked, “on his phone.”

Quackity knew what he meant instantly and nodded heading back up the alley to pick-pocket the man.

Dream leaned against the wall. Holy f*ck.

Quackity returned with the phone and held it out to Dream, who slipped it into his pocket. Dream felt marginally better now, he had the video now which meant he could delete it.

“-eam, Dream-, Dream,” Quakcity whispered.

Dream blacked they were standing outside Techno’s house. “Doorbell,” he muttered but made no move to press it. Quackity reached out and the doorbell sounded through Dream’s head.

“Hey Dream, you took-,” techno trailed off, “your sweet time,” he finished.

Quakcity pushed Dream towards Techno, “I think Dream needs to lie down.”

“What f*ckign happened, Quackity?” Tehcno exclaimed, hurrying them both into the living room.

“We-” Quakcity started.

“Dad,” Techno shouted. “DAD.”

The door slammed open and Phil burst into the room, shortly followed by a concerned Will and Tommy.

“What-, DREAM,” Phil exclaimed. “What happened, Quackity?”

“I was walking home from school and I heard a commotion down the alleyway nearby, you know the one with the dry cleaners? So I went to investigate and I found Dream being harassed by his rapist.” Quackity explained quickly. “I think he has a concussion, his back and arm could do with being checked out as well.”

Phil turned back to his two kids standing in the doorway, “Could you guys go look for my first aid kit?”

The two nodded and scrambled off, pushing and shoving each other while trying to get to the kitchen faster.

“We need to calm him down first,” Phil demanded. “Techno, sit behind him please.”

Techno followed his fathers instructions, pulling Dream back against his chest and repeatedly whispering affirmations and letting Dream know he was safe.

He had started to relax by the time Will and Tommy returned. Phil did a general check up on Dream with the limited medical knowledge he had.

“I think tonight we should watch a couple of movies to get you clear for sleep in case you do have a head injury and I’ll ring Puffy and Niki to tell them you need to go to the doctor later.

Wilbur and Tommy immediately divided for the remote, already arguing over which movie to watch.

“Would you like to stay, Quackity?” Phil asked warmly.

Quackity glanced at Dream apprehensively, the blond was watching Tommy and Wilbur an amused look on his face. “I really don’t thi-.”

“Quackity,” Dream called. Quackity turned to face the other, “Stay, please?”

Quackity swallowed hard and nodded. Curling up on the bottom of the couch.

The small group enjoyed popcorn and movies all night and fell asleep after about 5 hours. At 1am, Phil realised he should call Puffy and left the room.

Techno was running his hands through Dream's hair. He glanced up when Phil entered the room. Phil raised an eyebrow suggestively. Techno glared back at him.

When he returned his oldest two boys were the only two still awake. Tommy was slumped against Wilbur, who was doing a crap job at pretending to be annoyed.

And Quakcity was asleep at the end of the couch, Dream’s feet in his lep and quiet snores leaving his mouth.

Chapter 17: Graduation

Chapter Text

Dream: mom was wondering if anyone wanted to go dinner in a group after grad tomorrow

Techno: i’ll ask dad

Sapnap: Sorry dream, Dad’s booked somewhere already

Dream: no worries

Wilbur: Techno has gotten distracted so i’m here to tell you that dad said yes we’ll join you guys

Eret: Me and punz wud love to

Dream: yay

George: didn’t have anything organised so i’ll join you guys if that’s alright

Dream: :))))

- - - -

Dream shuffled nervously in front of the mirror in the hallway.

It was graduation day and Dream was ridiculously nervous. He couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t even giving a speech or anything. But the nerves weren’t bad ones, they were butterflies. Pent up joy that fluttered around in his stomach, trying to force a smile onto his face.

“Are you okay, sweetie?”

Dream looked up and met his mothers eyes in the mirror. Puffy standing behind her. Hia wonderful mothers, who he would forever be grateful for. The unconditional love they showed him was constant and unwavering, a soft cushion for him to fall back on when he needed help.

“I’m good,” Dream whispered, breathlty. “Nervous”

Niki chuckled, “I think I’d be more worried if you told me you weren’t.”

A hand landed on Dream’s shoulder, he turned around and faced Puffy. “We’re so proud of you Dream.”

Dream swallowed roughly. “Thanks,” he croaked.

Suddenly a tornado swept through the house, knocking Dream to the ground.

“Tubbo,” Puffy groaned, “Don’t run in the house.”

Ranboo joined the family in the hall, “Don’t mean to alarm anyone but it’s 5 to 11.”

“Everyone into the car, quick.”

- - - -

Dream got out of his car and groaned when he felt the wind. The graduation ceremony was held outside and Dream really didn’t feel like holding his cap to his head. His arms are going to be tired later.

“Dream!”

Dream spun around and saw George waving at him from the edge of the hall. He pointed his friends out to his mom and ran over to join the others.

George and Sapnap were the first to wrap their arms around him.

“We’re graduating,” Sapnap whispered.

Dream threw his head back and laughed joyfully, “We’re f*cking graduating.”

“f*ck ya,” George shouted.

The group chattered loudly as they all moved to find their seats. Dream was sitting pretty far back and looked diagonally forward to where he could see Techno and Wilbur sitting. The two seemed to be having a playful argument.... Silently? They’re a weird set of twins. Sapnap in the same row of Drema but he was over on the other side of the centre aisle, George was a couple rows in front.

The ceremony was, in short, rather boring.

Everyone got handed a piece of paper, that honestly seemed like a silly reward for the amount of work they had put in over the past couple of years.

Techno had unsurprisingly made Valedictorian and Dream was proud of him, he had worked so hard for it and he deserved it more than anyone Dream knew. George surprised them all by getting Salutatorian.

Dream was hoarse from cheering by the end of the speeches.

After the ceremony the group gathered together in the center of the field. Dream couldn’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed. Surrounded by friends, family and peers all celebrating an important milestone in their lives.

- - - -

Dinner was fun. Dream enjoyed spending time with his friends outside of school. The last couple of weeks had been busy, as everyone tried to cram the whole subject's courses into their brains for finals.

“So,” Punz started. “Anyone have any interest in going to Connor’s party tonight.”

Multiple heads turned towards Dream.

He took a deep breath, “Sure.” He didn’t want them not to have fun because of him.”

And that’s how Dream ended up in Wilbur’s car a couple hours later.

- - - -

Wilbur parked the car on the side of the road and the group of teens walked together up the road. Overhead lamps guiding the way and flooding the road with light.

The house was nice overall. It was modern, with lots of glass and plants around it.

Dream waited back while the others headed inside. He stared at the house, his hands sweating. He pulled at the collar of his shirt as he tried to suck in more air.

“Any interest in getting a milkshake instead?” a voice behind said.

He turned around and there was Techno. He had stayed behind.

Dream glanced back at the house behind him. He could see multicoloured lights flashing through the window, the blaring music and rowdy crowds billowing barely contained inside the house walls.

Looking at the house alone was almost too much for Dream.

He turned around. “I’d love that.”

Techno grinned. The two headed back to the car.

The drive was silent, but comfortable.

Techno put a hand on his arm. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Dream replied, like always. But this time he felt like maybe someday he wouldn’t be lying when he said it.

He leaned back into the touch of the man who was the reason he was alright. “I’m good.”

Dream decided at that moment that he didn’t need to go to the party, or to any party for that matter. It would be okay if he was never able to go to a party again. He had friends and family who loved him, and wouldn’t care if he stayed home when they were going out to parties. There would always be other times to hang out, other days out and other adventures. There would always be some to take him for milkshakes.